


Parabolas

by Kemara



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Discussion of Abortion, Eventual Happy Ending, Expansion of previous fic, F/M, Heavy Angst, Innuendo, Oral Sex, Unplanned Pregnancy, i think, sexual activity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-30
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2019-10-19 10:46:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17599862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kemara/pseuds/Kemara
Summary: An expansion of "In The Stacks." Tina Goldstein's first semester of college isn't going all that well until she meets a fascinating exchange student in the library.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So here's the expansion that I've been hinting at for months now. It's not usually my policy to post in-progress fics, but I've been working on this one for too long already. The first chapter is the pretty much the same as "In The Stacks" with some tweaks. Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

Tina shrugged her backpack higher on her shoulder and stared around the main reading room in dismay. Every table was crammed with students immersed in the looming deadlines of term papers and final exams. No way was she going back to her dorm though. She liked Seraphina, really she did, but why her friend needed to study with The Smashing Pumpkins at high volume Tina would never understand.

“I just need the background noise, Tina. I’m sorry it’s bothering you. Why don’t you try the library? I bet it’ll be quiet. And,” she added a bit waspishly, “It would do you good to get out of here for a while, don’t you think?”

“I doubt it.” But Tina had pulled on a sweatshirt and left, pausing on the steps to take several deep breaths of the chilly, early December air.

She stopped by the cafeteria to snag a brownie for lunch — not as good as Jacob’s but still better than lunch would ever be — and made her way to the three-story building beside the theater. She hadn’t stepped foot in the library all semester. Why bother with books when the Internet was just a click away? Still, maybe a change of scenery was just what she needed.

Apparently, a _lot_ of people had felt the same way. She didn’t recognize anyone, and Eastside was small for a four-year college.

“Herd instinct,” she muttered as she checked the study rooms and found them overflowing.

Sighing, she climbed the stairs to the second floor. Of course, the elevator was out of order. Up here, away from the all-seeing eyes of the librarians, things were a bit more lively. Tina found the low hum of conversations and turning pages quite soothing. She hunted for an empty table, or even an empty chair would do. She spotted one, but before she could pick her way through the minefield of computer bags and purses, it was taken.

She stood at the foot of the third-floor stairs, debating. Her backpack felt as if it had gained 20 pounds since she’d walked in the door. “I’ll take a quick look and go back to the dorm. Sera has a class at three, I can work on my paper then.”

At first, the top floor looked as busy as the other two. Tina was just about to give up and leave when she turned a corner and saw a table with one person and two chairs. It really was tucked away, and she guessed no one else had noticed.

She hurried over and plunked her backpack on the empty chair. “Mind if I sit here?”

The last time she’d seen Queenie, her little sister had chastised her for the hundredth time about being so blunt. _“You can’t just go barging in where ever you want, Teenie. At least ask first.”_

The person at the table didn’t even look up, deeply absorbed in annotating a detailed drawing that showed the internal organs of some animal. “Go ahead,” a male voice mumbled. “Just shove my stuff over.”

The accent was so thick it was hard to understand, but Tina got the gist. She unzipped her bag, hauling out her laptop, notes, and books. When they thumped onto the table, the man finally raised his head, brushing a sheaf of unruly red-gold hair out of his eyes.

“Uh, hi.” Tina yanked out the chair and sat down, busying herself with arranging things just so. She wasn’t used to talking to guys. Except for Jacob, but he was her brother-in-law so it wasn’t the same as a _guy_.

“Hullo.” He sounded either English or Australian, probably an exchange student, then. He nodded at his textbook. “Veterinary Science. Eventually.”

She grimaced in sympathy and hefted the top book of her stack. “Criminal Justice. Eventually.”

“Ah.” He smiled with a flash of white teeth in a very freckled face. “My brother’s a defense attorney. It sounds bloody boring to me, but he likes it well enough. That what you’re after?”

Tina frowned and opened her laptop to hide her suddenly blushing face. “I….I don’t know yet.”

Her father had been a corporate lawyer who told everyone that Tina would argue with a fence post. She’d idolized him and dreamed of following in his footsteps. Queenie took after their mother who had been a pediatric nurse at the local hospital. She had loved to cook, and her younger daughter learned everything she could teach. Their parents’ sudden deaths from a drunk driver in Tina’s senior year of high school had hit both girls hard.

Since she was already 18, Tina had been able to petition the court for custody of Queenie who was a year-and-a-half younger. She’d worked hard to get a full scholarship to Eastside — their parents’ savings covered the funeral and paid off the bills and the family’s two cars, but not much else. As soon as Queenie graduated, she married her childhood sweetheart, Jacob, who worked at his family’s bakery and coffee shop.

It had taken a solid year to tie up everything: the legal red tape, selling the house, settling the finances. But finally, Tina could start at Eastside and live in the dorms. When Jacob’s father, Mr. Kowalski, had offered her a part-time job as a barista she’d jumped at the chance to earn some extra money. Law school was an expensive prospect, even with scholarships.

Lately, though, she’d found her mind turning to other options. Like the police academy or working with kids. Or both. Maybe.

“It is a bit of a slog, isn’t it?” The stranger’s voice jolted Tina from her thoughts. “Newt Scamander. My parents are marine biologists. They’re on an expedition to the Great Barrier Reef, so I decided to come here for school.”

What an odd name. But if his parents were biologists, it made sense. “Tina Goldstein. My parents are dead.” Horrified, Tina ducked back behind her screen. _Why did you say that, you idiot? He was just being polite. Unlike you, you moron._

There was silence for a moment, then, so softly she could barely hear it: “My apologies.”

“It’s OK. I didn’t….I don’t usually just come out and say it like that. I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to put you on the spot.” Tina kept her voice as light and detached as possible while her face burned. _Obviously, I’m not dealing with things as well as I’d thought._ “I’d better go….” She started to gather up her things, but Newt put out a freckled hand and stopped her.

“No, stay please.” His expression was pleading as he met her eyes with his own hazel ones “I’d rather you than some of the others. I tend to annoy most people.”

That made her smile because she often thought the same about herself. “If you’re sure….?”

He nodded firmly. “Absolutely.”

Tina resumed her seat and clicked the icon to open her final paper on “The Crucible.” While her ancient machine struggled to process the request, she glanced across at Newt. He was sketching rapidly on what looked like the latest iPad, the one with the fancy pencil. She suppressed a sigh of longing. Her laptop was second-hand, a graduation gift from her guidance counselor. It worked, but it was few years past its prime. Until now, she hadn’t minded.

She took her phone from a side pocket of her bag and plugged in her headphones. She selected ocean waves from her nature sounds app and got to work. She was deep in the intricacies of the Salem Witch Trials when a skinny wrist thrust a bag under her nose.

“What?” She pulled out the right earbud, trying not to sound too irritated after his earlier comment. She glanced at the clock and saw, to her shock, that three hours had passed.

“Would you like a biscuit?”

The logo read McVitie’s Digestives, and Tina’s stomach rumbled at the sight of the large, chocolate-covered cookie. Cautiously, she eased one out of the wrapper and took a small bite. “Thanks.” It wasn’t very sweet, but after her brownie, that was fine. “They’re good.”

Newt set the package between them in easy reach. “Have another if you like. I’ve got loads — Mum and Dad keep sending them. Can’t get good biscuits here.”

Tina did. “What’re you working on?” While he was bent over his book, she took the opportunity to appraise him more closely. He wasn’t her usual type — she made a face, remembering her disastrously short relationship with Percival Graves — but Newt Scamander was….cute in a gawky, angular sort of way.

“Studying for my Biology final on Monday.” He glanced at her as if checking to see how interested she was. “It’s really quite fascinating.”

“Mmm….” She hadn’t been around animals much. Queenie and Jacob had a dog — a spoiled, fat little thing that Queenie liked to put sweaters on, but Tina had no idea what breed it was. “So why not marine biology?”

A flush colored his cheeks. “Well, I….” He shifted in his seat, long fingers twiddling with his stylus. “I get a bit….panicky under water, you see.”

Tina couldn’t help chuckling. “Are you serious?”

“Swimming and surfing I’m fine. But with diving, it’s just the pressure of the water all round and knowing that I’m relying on something else to breathe for me.” He waved his hands in illustration. “Theseus and I — he’s my brother — we had lessons as tots, of course. Early on, they have you take out the oxygen tank mouthpiece — it’s called a regulator — and put it back in — what to do if you lose it, you know. And I freaked out every time….thrashing and gasping like a hooked fish, all that.”

“I don’t blame you! I’m sure I would too!”

He smiled, eyes crinkling up at the corners. “So, I decided it might be safer on dry land. I started out working with birds — owls and hawks — and moved on to horses.”

“I’ve never been on a horse,” Tina said wistfully, all thoughts of her paper forgotten. “I’ve always wanted to, though. They’re so….powerful and beautiful.”

“Oh, they are! And delicate, too! Look at this.” Excitedly, he turned the iPad so she could see it, quickly bringing up a photo of a gleaming chestnut horse. “Did you know horses have no muscles in their lower legs? That’s why it’s so hard for them to heal when they break one.”

Tina hid a smile. “Fascinating.” But it was the man rather than the beast she found herself admiring. As he spoke, his whole face lit up like a kid who has been told he can have all the candy he wants.

Newt must have sensed her amusement because he set the tablet down. “Sorry. I tend to get over excited when I talk about animals. I forget that most people aren’t that interested.”

“I don’t mind. But my paper’s not going to write itself at this rate.” She smiled to take the sting out of it, and he relaxed.

“Right. And I still need to memorize this.”

They sank back into companionable silence while the activity of the library ebbed and flowed around them. When they emptied that pack of biscuits, Newt produced more — lemon flavored this time. “They’re much better with tea,” he muttered, not looking up from his drawing.

The next time Tina resurfaced for a bathroom break, afternoon sun was flooding through the nearby window. The crowd in the main room had lightened considerably, end of term pressures unable to withstand the lures of a Friday night.

When she returned to their table, stretching and easing the kink in her neck, Newt closed his book and asked, "So why criminal justice?"  
  
"Oh, well, I had a friend in junior high, Credence — he was a foster kid. He was the same age as my sister, Queenie. We used to joke that he was our long-lost brother because he looked a lot like my dad did at that age."  
  
Tina focused on her notes, but not really seeing them; it was easier to get the words out if she didn't look at Newt. "We knew his foster mom was a bitch. She treated him pretty awful: homeschooled him so he didn’t have many friends, but he never complained. He was always so cheerful, you know? We....we never realized she was beating him. One day she.....she beat him so bad he ended up in the hospital. He was in a coma two weeks before he died."  
  
Newt reached out and took her hand. "I'm sorry. That must've been horrible."  
  
She sniffed. "Yeah. The worst thing was that she got off. She claimed Credence had started a fight with her and she was defending herself! They said she couldn't be a foster parent anymore, but that was it."  
  
"So you want to change the law.”  
  
Tina wiped at her eyes and tried to pull away, but he held tight. "That was the plan but, lately....."  
  
"You're having second thoughts?" His fingers were strong and warm, and she could feel the calluses on them — from reins?  
  
"Something like that. My dad was a lawyer, and he actually lost the majority of the cases he tried. That's why we didn't have a lot of money when they.....Anyway, I asked him why he kept doing it, and he said, 'Sometimes you have to make a choice between what's right and what's easy’.” She realized she had been rubbing her thumb absently over a scar on the back of his hand and stopped, embarrassed.

“That was from a red-tailed hawk we rehabilitated one summer. She hated me with a passion, and after two months of being bitten every time I got near her, I didn’t like her very much either. But yeah….your dad had a point. I’ve done a lot of work with rescue groups and sometimes nobody wins.”

Tina sat back, sliding her hand out of his reluctantly. This time, he let her. “At least you try. If only I had….”

“You can’t think like that,” he said fiercely. “You care and that’s more than a lot of people bother to do.”

She stared at him in shock, and it was his turn to blush as if he realized he’d said too much. “Uh, how’s your paper going? Almost done?”

“What? Oh, about halfway I guess.” She turned back to it, but she found it hard to concentrate. She’d just met this Newt Scamander, and here they were pouring their hearts out to each other. Was she really that starved for company? Was he? She felt like she could sit and talk to him for hours.

Queenie would be thrilled. Her sister had tried to set Tina up before, but it never worked out. Tina was always the plain, uninteresting one. Always turning up where she wasn’t wanted. Newt didn’t seem to mind being around her though….

_Come on, girl. Daydreaming isn’t getting this paper done._ Gritting her teeth, she put her earphones back in and started a new paragraph.

She was in the middle of cross-referencing a sticky point when she noticed Newt jump out of the corner of her eye. “You okay?”

She watched in fascination as a blush crawled up from the neck of his shirt. “Fine! Just....dozed off I think.” He gave her a goofy smile that told her he was flat-out lying.

Queenie did just the same when Tina was particularly irritated with her. _Forget it — I’m not introducing them. I’d never have any peace._ Rolling her eyes, she turned back to her notes and started putting her conclusion together.

There it came again. Newt startled so badly his knee struck the underside of the table, jarring everything on it and making her laptop screen flicker

Tina ripped out her earphones. “What is it with you?” she hissed.

His mouth opened and closed, but before he could reply, a loud feminine moan came from somewhere behind them.

“What the hell?” Tina pushed back her chair.

“Um….I don’t think you should….” Newt began, but she ignored him, striding out into the main reading room. It was deserted, and the sky beyond the windows was completely black save for the streetlights. Must be later than I _realized_.

Giggles and more sounds of passion led her to a secluded alcove where a couple was entangled on one of the large armchairs. Tina made a mental note never to sit there. Her face flamed more than Newt’s had as she recognized them both. The boy was in her College Algebra class, something Abernathy? She couldn’t remember his first name. The girl, Bernadette, was a good friend of Seraphina’s and often in their dorm room.

_I’ll never be able to look either of them in the face after this._ Speaking of looking, she’d been staring at them for too long.

Silently, she slipped back to their table. “Well, that was….” She trailed off, not sure what to say.

Newt gave her a tiny smile from under his ridiculous flop of hair. “I tried to warn you. In my experience, mating creatures don’t like to be disturbed.”

The statement was so absurd that Tina laughed out loud, and the noises stopped abruptly. _Serves you right!_

“You wanna get coffee?” she blurted out. Newt just stared at her, and she hurried on before she could lose her nerve. “My brother-in-law’s family owns Kowalski’s downtown. They’re open late on Fridays and sometimes there’s live music.”  
  
A slow smile spread over Newt’s face. “I’d like that. But, please tell me they have tea. Real tea and not that herbal piss." He began shoving his things into a leather messenger bag.  
  
She laughed, closed her laptop. “Believe it or not, they do. But I'll check to make sure.”  
  
“Excellent!”  
  
Tina took out her phone again, smiling as she typed. _Queenie, on my way over. Can you save a table? Bringing a friend._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this chapter is where the new stuff starts! Tons of thanks to my beta Katie Havok, Sunny for Aussie references, and the folks on the Discords for encouragement and general hilarity.

Sure enough, the other floors, from what Tina could see of them as they passed, were empty of students. Normally, Friday nights were nothing special, and Seraphina had long since stopped asking her to go to parties. It felt….good, odd but good, to “get out of her comfort zone” as Queenie might say.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket, but she ignored it in favor of watching Newt’s long legs navigate the last set of steps. _I’m glad he’s so tall. After Percival, I don’t think I could go with anyone shorter than me._

Dark and handsome Percival certainly was, but not tall; at least, not compared to Tina’s five-foot-eleven. The jokes from his friends had stung his ego too much and he’d dropped her after their second date. Well, her refusal to have sex with him might have had something to do with it too.

They stepped outside and Tina shivered at the gust of cold wind on her face, wishing she’d thought to grab a coat when she’d left the dorm. CNN had mentioned a chance of snow next week. _Seraphina’s leaving for Georgia on Tuesday, so I can sleep in every day until January if I want to._

“Oh.” Newt stopped so quickly she nearly ran into the back of his peacock blue jacket. “Sorry! I didn’t think….Would you rather drive or should I?” He wrapped a yellow and black striped scarf around his neck.

“Where are you parked? I’m in the student lot, so it’s a bit of a walk.” And she hadn’t cleaned her car out in days, she remembered. _Probably something growing in there by now._ She walked as much as she could to save on gas.

He pointed. “I’m in the visitor’s lot just there.” He started off down the sidewalk but turned back when he realized Tina hadn’t moved.

“But you’re a student.”

“Yes?” He had his head cocked to one side, watching her. “I have an apartment, but it’s not student housing.”

“You’re still supposed to use the student lot….” _Jeez, Tina. Who made you traffic cop all of a sudden? What does it matter where he parked?_

He gave a cheeky smile. “Really? I had no idea. The visitors' car park is so much closer in the mornings, you know?” The smile faded as she continued to stare. “Umm….we are going, aren’t we?”

She blinked. “Oh, yeah. Lead the way.” To cover her embarrassment, she took out her phone and checked the texts: three from Queenie.

_Oooh! Go Teen! Who is he? Is he cute?_

_Or she? Is this a date?_

_Got you a table. Want your usual?_

Tina sighed, but it was impossible to be more than slightly annoyed with Queenie. She had always been Tina’s biggest fan and never let anyone say cruel things in her hearing. She typed: _Yes, he’s a he. Yes, he’s cute. No, it’s not a date. Double mocha latte. Please tell me you have “real” black tea right now. He’s British or Australian or something._

Immediately the answer came back. _Sure do! You can have a tea party!_

Tina couldn’t help laughing, and Newt glanced at her. “Something funny?”

“Just my sister. I have to warn you — I think she’s going to go all out with a full British tea or whatever.” She scanned the rows of vehicles, wondering which one was his. He’d probably have something fancy and expensive.

He chuckled. “I wouldn't mind, honestly. Sometimes I miss it. When Theseus and I were still living at home, Mum insisted we have a proper sit-down tea every Saturday afternoon.” He stopped under a street light. “Here we are.”

The car in question was a boxy, brown Volkswagen with chipped paint and no rims. Something in Tina’s chest loosened at the sight of it. _Maybe he’s not a spoiled, rich boy after all._

“It’s not much, but it was cheap and it runs.” Newt gave the hood an affectionate slap. “When I sent a picture to Theseus, he christened it The Suitcase. Wait….I’ll have to get in and unlock your door from my side.”

The door’s hinges squealed like a dying animal when Tina pulled it open letting out a waft of hay and leather.

“Just toss your bag in the back. I’m sorry it’s a bit of a mess.” That was the understatement of the year, Tina thought. The back seat was a jumble of muddy boots, horse blankets, what looked like bits of harness, a large wire cage and empty fast-food containers.

She found a space for her bag atop one of the blankets. “It looks a lot better than my car, trust me.” She buckled in and smiled at the tiny snowy owl ornament hanging from the rear-view mirror. “You’re lucky you got a place off campus — they go fast. Do you have a roommate?”

He eased out of the parking space and fumbled with the heat. “It’s temperamental, but it seems to be working today….No, I do volunteer work at the animal shelter on the weekends so I’m always taking care of at least two dogs or cats at any given time. What about you?”

_Give and take, Tina. You can do this._ “I share a dorm room with a friend from high school. She’s nice, but I’ll be glad to have it to myself over the holiday.” She kept her tone light. _Don’t want to scare him off with any more emotional drama._

“Your sister is your only family? I’m sorry. You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.” His eyes caught the traffic lights as he glanced over at her.

“It’s okay. Yeah, it’s just me and Queenie. She married Jacob as soon as they graduated in May, and they both work at the coffee shop. We sold everything we could. I took our mom’s car, and she got dad’s. Turn here.”

He did so with deliberate caution. “I’m finally getting used to driving on the ‘wrong’ side of the road. After four months I still have trouble remembering sometimes.” He tapped the brakes as a Mustang pulled out in front of them.

Tina braced a hand on the dashboard. “With the way people drive in this town, I don’t blame you! It’s always been like this.”

He chuckled, obviously as relieved as she was at the change of subject. “So did you grow up here?”

“Pretty much. I was born in New York City, but we moved here when I was five or so. Mom and Dad both commuted into Boston. Mom was a nurse at Children’s Hospital and dad was part of a firm. There it is. Looks like we’ll have to walk.”

The street was lined with cars on both sides, and it took them five minutes of searching to find a place to park behind a seedy looking club.

“I’d like to go to New York sometime,” Newt said wistfully as he waited for Tina to retrieve her purse from her backpack. “It sounds fascinating.”

She joined him and they started down the sidewalk towards Kowalski’s Quality Baked Goods. “It’s loud and busy. I haven’t been back since I was about eleven.” She noticed Newt looking around with interest at the Christmas trees and lights that adorned every shop they passed. “Do they not decorate in Australia? Is that where you lived before?”

“Oh, they do! It’s just….not the same. The seasons are opposite from here, you know. So the schools are about to be out for summer vacation and it’s very hot.”

Tina shook her head. “Wow, that is different.” Kowalski’s storefront was absent of any adornment besides a single strand of small, white lights around the window. “Jacob’s dad had the idea of their shop being the one place people could go to get away from all the holiday insanity. So no ornaments or Christmas carols.”

Newt held the door for her, and she saw his shoulders relax as the comforting smell of fresh bread and coffee met their noses. A mellow jazz tune drifted faintly from the performance space upstairs. “I think I approve.”

The ground floor of the combination bakery and coffee shop was scattered with small tables and chairs and a few couches. Books and magazines were piled in easy reach for those who didn’t want to socialize. On Queenie’s advice, Jacob’s father had agreed that a warm color scheme would be more welcoming. After a full makeover, the place now had a homey, laid-back vibe that invited customers to stay and relax. Access to the intimate upstairs space was by ticket only, and saw a constant stream of local and regional musicians.

Tonight, both floors were crowded with people of all ages loaded down with bright shopping bags.

“I forgot,” Tina said to Newt as they joined the end of the line. “They had the parade earlier, and the stores will be open longer from now until Christmas.”

“Ah, that makes sense.” He was standing rather closer to her than he had been earlier, looking quite skittish, and she wondered if crowds made him nervous.

“Teenie!” Queenie waved madly from where she was restocking the bottled drinks, her blond curls bouncing.  “I’ve got the tea steeping right now.”

“Oh good….” Newt muttered. “I could really use a cup….”

Jacob grinned at them from his spot behind the register when they finally reached him. “Hey, guys! You’re still working tomorrow, aren’t you Tina? I swear, the month’s just started and it’s already a madhouse.” His broad face was flushed, and she figured he’d been in the back with the ovens. “I told Ed to take a break for a while. He’s been here since the lunch rush.”

_Mr. Kowalski really should hire another cook. Jacob can’t keep doing it all even if he does love it._

The Goldsteins and Kowalskis had been friends for years. Tina had even dated Jacob’s brother, Karl, before he joined the army. When tragedy struck, the Kowalskis had absorbed both sisters as part of their loud, bustling family.

“Hey, Jacob. This is Newt. Yeah, I’ll be here. I’ve just got one exam on Monday and then I’m free to take a day shift or two. I need all the extra hours I can get.”

She pushed down the worry that had been eating at her all semester. Even with her scholarship and a part-time job, money was still tight. Jacob and Queenie had offered to let her move into the second bedroom in their apartment over the shop, but she wasn’t quite that desperate yet.

He nodded, looking relieved. “We sure can use the help. Dad’s making up the holiday schedule tonight. I’ll let him know you want in. Oh, and mom told me to make sure you’re coming Wednesday night.”

“You know I’d never miss her lamb chops. I’ll bring the salad. I can throw that together pretty easily.”

“Good deal.” He eyed Newt, obviously curious and protective. “So what can I get you to eat? Queenie’s taking care of your drinks.”

Newt shrugged, now studying the array of circus-themed pastries in the front case. “You choose. I’ll eat just about anything.”

“Ummm….” She scanned the colorful chalkboard menu even though she knew it by heart. “Can we get the sampler? We've been in the library all day and all we had were a few cookies.”

Queenie turned from the espresso machine, blue eyes wide, mouthing, “All day?”

“Sure thing. Queen kept your usual spot free.” Jacob took her debit card and rang up the order.

“Thanks, Jake.” Tina sidled through the crowded tables to the one she used while on her breaks, tucked cozily in one corner. Newt followed her, moving with surprising grace for someone so gawky.

Sitting opposite him Tina felt her nerves come back and cast about for something to say before the silence became too awkward. "So, are you from Australia originally?"

"No. Well, Mum's family are from Sydney, but Dad's English. They met in university. But we lived in Australia most often." He reached for a packet of sugar from the little holder, turning it over and over, not looking at her.

"So you moved around a lot?" She leaned forward, fascinated _. I hope he doesn't mind me asking so many questions._

He gave a jerky nod. "I guess so? I was born in London, but the first place I can remember was a tiny island off South Carolina. We were there for about a year or so when I was three. We had the whole place to ourselves." He abandoned the sugar and sat back, smiling. "Theseus and I played at being pirates and digging up buried treasure. From there we went to Japan, the Philippines, Australia, the Maldives, Florida, back to Australia….”

"Sounds like a great way to grow up," she said. Her own childhood had been typical — full of Girl Scouts and soccer practice.

"Here you go!" Queenie set down a tray and unloaded a silver teapot, spoons, milk jug and two china mugs. "I brought you a cup too, Teenie, just in case you wanted to try it." She set Tina's latte in front of her.

_Of course you did._ "I dunno," Tina frowned, skeptical. "I'm more of a coffee person."

"I bet you've just never had a good cup of real tea," Newt said with a hint of exasperation. "Most places outside England don't know how to make it. But this looks wonderful," he told Queenie as if worried she might take offense.

She giggled. "That's OK, honey. One of the weekend staffers is from Scotland and the first thing he did was teach us all how to make tea. You'd be surprised how many people ask for it. I’m Queenie by the way.” She held out a hand to Newt.

“Newt Scamander.” He returned her shake gently.

“Oh, what an interesting name! I bet there’s a story behind it, isn’t there?”

Jacob came over with their food before Newt could reply, setting down a large platter piled with an array of sweet and savory baked goods and two plates. “Enjoy! Yell if you want anything else.”

“It looks great.” Tina passed a plate to Newt and noticed his slightly panicked expression. _Probably thinks I’ll ask him to pay me back for all this or at least pay half._ “Thank goodness for my employee discount or I’d never be able to afford anything here. We can split up the leftovers if you want.”

He sighed and set a croissant and lion pastry on his plate before reaching for the teapot. “I won’t say no to that. The food in the cafeteria is….” He wrinkled his nose. “Cereal is just straight sugar. Give me vegemite toast any day.”

“Vegemite?” Tina wrinkled her nose. “Isn't that stuff awful? I've seen people on youtube try it and they always gag.”

“That's just because they've done it wrong - you never eat it with a spoon ... well, not unless you have a death wish. I’ll let you try it sometime.”

_I just met him and already he’s got me trying new things._ “Just warn me first, please?”

They ate in comfortable silence for a few minutes before Tina asked. “So _is_ there a story behind your name?”

“My full name’s Newton Artemis Fido Scamander,” he said in a long-suffering tone. “That’s what you get when both your parents are scientists. “

Tina tried and failed to hold back her laughter. “I’m sorry! I’m not laughing at you! Only, you’re the first person I've met with a name as crazy as mine. My dad was a fan of Shakespeare so I got named Porpentina Esther.”

He grinned. “A newt and a porcupine — it must be fate!”

“Must be!” Tina felt her face growing hot and busied herself splitting and buttering a lemon poppyseed muffin. _He’s really cute when he smiles like that. Goofy, but cute._

Newt poured himself a second cup. “Do you want to try some?”

_Go on, Tina. It won’t kill you._ “Alright, but you make it — I wouldn’t have a clue.”

He raised an eyebrow before he took her mug and filled it just over halfway with strong, brown tea. “You like your coffee sweet?”

“Usually, yeah.” She watched nervously as he added sugar and a splash of milk before handing it back.

“Try that.” He looked so hopeful, she couldn’t bring herself to refuse.  

She took a cautious sip. “Huh. It’s….pretty good. I probably wouldn’t have it first thing in the morning, but it would be good for a pick-me-up at night.”

Newt gave a small smile and lifted his own cup in salute. “I’m glad you like it.” He took a bite of his pastry. “Wow, this is good! What classes are you taking next semester?”

“Introductory Sociology, English 102, World History, Astronomy 101 and Spanish 201. Oh, and Yoga for the Athlete for my P.E.” She made a face. “Gonna be a lot of papers. I can already tell.”

He sat up a little straighter. “Brilliant! I’m in the astronomy class as well. I asked around and there’s a club that meets once a week. I think they go on trips when the weather suits.”

“Really? But….you’re a freshman? I thought — I mean, you look….older.” Tina stumbled to a halt and buried her red face in her mug. _Why do I keep making a fool of myself in front of him?_

“Ah,” he shrugged, unoffended. “My secondary education was a bit patchy since we moved around so much. I know tons of science obviously, and I like to read, but I’m shit about history or politics.” He broke off one of the lion’s legs and crumbled it. “I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go to university. I had a paying job at WIRES - that’s the national wildlife rescue organization - and I was training horses on the side. I thought I didn’t need any more education.”

Tina cautiously poured herself more tea and topped it off with milk. “What made you change your mind?” _I think I could listen to him talk all night._

“Nothing special. I just decided I wanted to try something new and I got tired of dodging drop bears all the time. It took about a year to get it all worked out — the visa and such. But here I am — a freshman at 24.”

“I’m 20. I waited to start college since Mom and Dad died near the end of my senior year. There was just too much to do,  you know? I needed to be there for Queenie and get the house and all that sorted. It’s….weird, isn’t it? You feel like you don’t quite fit.”

He nodded. “My advisor recommended I join the non-traditional students' group. I don’t think I’d fit in there either, do you?”

They laughed together, and Tina marveled at how comfortable she felt around him even though she’d known him for less than a day.

“Mind if we join you?”

She looked up to see Queenie and Jacob standing by their table, drinks in hand. “Sure.”

Newt nodded, hunching in on himself shyly as they pulled out chairs.

“Oh, it feels good to sit down!” Queenie said. She snagged a quiche and ate it in quick little bites. “But it’s gonna be like this from now until the end of the month.”

“Speakin’ of…..” Jacob leaned forward. “Newt, if you don’t have any plans on Wednesday night, my family's having a get-together. It’s the first night of Hanukkah, but this isn’t religious. Just a casual dinner.”

Inwardly, Tina winced. _It’s too soon to ask him to something like that. I bet this was your idea._ She attempted to glare at Queenie, but her younger sister only winked and pretended not to notice Newt’s panicked expression.

“It’s nothing formal, honey,” Queenie said brightly. “Jacob’s family’s been having it since all of us were kids. It’ll probably be me, Jacob, his parents, Teenie and maybe some of the staff.” 

Jacob nodded. “Yeah, and you don’t even need to bring anything. It’s mostly an excuse for my folks to cook. My dad’s motto — it’s on the menu, did you see it? — is, ‘Making people happy one meal at a time.’”

Newt stared around the table at them all, ending with Tina. “You really want me to come?” He sounded amazed, and she remembered what he had said about being annoying.

“Yeah, if you want. It’d be nice to have someone new to talk to after so many years.” She smiled, gently teasing. “Jacob’s dad will try to feed you third helpings, and his mom will give you all the leftovers.”

He chuckled. “I wouldn’t argue, mum’s always insisted I had hollow legs! Alright, if you’re sure then I’ll come. And thank you.”  


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tina and Newt go for a ride - no, not that kind! - and get to know each other a bit more.

Tina double-checked the directions to Falconrest Farm in Google Maps and sent a text to Newt. _I’m on my way. Be there in a bit._

His reply popped up at once _. Can’t wait! Drive careful. The roads were icy when I came in._

She pulled out onto the highway cautiously, but the ice — along with the light snowfall from the day before — had already melted, and the road was dry. As she drove, Tina remembered how this outing had come about.

Newt had arrived at Kowalski’s Quality Baked Goods for dinner on the appointed evening and been directed upstairs to the sprawling apartment above the shop.

Tina had been setting the dining room table — with extra leaves added to accommodate the crowd — when she looked up and saw him in the doorway. She stared for a long moment before Queenie’s giggles made her turn. “Did you -?”

Queenie shook her head, grinning hugely. “Nope! You guys did that yourselves! I think it’s adorable!”

Newt wore khaki slacks and a blue, button-down shirt the exact color of Tina’s dress. _Maybe I can change into something of Queenie’s before he spots me!_

Too late. He was already making his way across the room in her direction.

“Just don’t mention it, and no one else will either,” Queenie whispered as she slipped away to help Mrs. Kowalski in the kitchen.

So they’d just smiled awkwardly and made polite small talk. Tina was sure the other guests noticed, but as Queenie had said, no one commented, probably assuming she and Newt were dating and had dressed alike to be cute.

Afterward, she walked him out to his car and helped him settle the promised leftovers in the back seat.

“Get in and I’ll turn the heat on. It’s too cold to stand out here.”

She did, sliding into the passenger seat and smoothing her dress down wishing it didn’t show quite so much bare thigh.

He shut the driver’s side door and turned to her. "I got you something — a Hanukkah present."  
  
"Oh, Newt, you didn't have to....."  
  
"I know, but I did some reading so I wouldn't look like a complete fool tonight."  
  
She smiled. "You didn't. Mr. and Mrs. Kowalski loved you. I could tell.” _And the next time I see her she’ll be asking when the wedding is._  
  
"Anyway, the website said it's traditional to give presents each night, but especially the first. So....." He leaned over and opened the glove compartment, revealing a small box wrapped in blue metallic paper with a curly white ribbon.  
  
Tina took it with hands that shook slightly. Inside was a tiny model of a white horse with splotches of black, done in the finest detail. "It's beautiful....."  
  
"It looks like Patch, one of the horses I work with at the barn," Newt mumbled, watching her from under his bangs, cheeks slightly pink. "I thought you might like it."     
  
"I love it!" _Should I kiss his cheek? No, it's way too soon for that_ . She settled for giving him her brightest smile. "And now you have to introduce me to the real thing."  
  
He gave her a shy smile in return. "Any time you want."

They’d exchanged numbers, and in the two weeks that followed, they chatted constantly about anything and everything. When Tina revealed that she liked to run, Newt had met her at the student center for an early morning workout followed — of course — by coffee and tea at the bakery.

When he’d invited her to spend the day with him and maybe have a ride, she’d jumped at the chance. The weather was clear but cold, and she wore her oldest jeans, boots, an Ilvermorny High School sweatshirt and a jacket.

She turned left at the sign decorated with winged horses and followed the gravel drive beside a wide sloping field dotted with clumps of trees. A few blanketed horses grazing on the yellowing grass raised their heads curiously as she passed.

The small parking area was surrounded by more trees. Walking out of them, Tina realized she was standing at the top of a hill. To the left, was another fenced paddock with a long, weathered building in front of it. On her right, she glimpsed a smaller, red-painted building and at least two arenas. Beyond it all, fields and trees rolled away as far as she could see.

She took a deep breath of the fresh air. _It’s so peaceful. Queenie would love it out here. Maybe I can bring her later if Newt thinks it would be okay._

“Just ask for me at the office — that’s the red building. They’ll know where I am.”

Following Newt's advice, she set off down the hill. As she passed the stables, curious horse heads poked out from the stalls. She was careful not to get too close. From around the back came loud bangs and an impatient neigh. _Must be breakfast time._

The first room of the office building seemed to be given over to storage. Bridles hung on the wall, each with its own brass nameplate. She counted saddles of every type, boxes full of brushes, combs and sponges, even a variety of mostly child-sized helmets. Everything was suffused with the scents of leather, polish and what Tina supposed must be horse.

She peered into the second room where a woman with cropped blonde hair was writing in a ledger.

At Tina’s rap on the open door, the woman looked up. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, I’m looking for Newt Scamander?”

The woman gave her a friendly smile. “Oh, you must be Tina! He said you’d be by. He’s next door doing the morning feeding. Can’t miss him.”

“Thanks.” _I wonder what he said about me._

She didn’t see Newt at any of the front stalls, so she walked slowly around to the back. Here were more stalls and a lean-to with huge feed bins, pitchforks, and shovels.

“No, that’s all you’re getting for now.” Newt’s distinctive accent came from the stall at the far end of the row. A bare, freckled arm reached around the open door to grab a pitchfork leaning against the wall and disappeared again.

Tina hurried down the aisle, about to say hello, when Newt stepped out of the stall. She stopped, mouth open.

His dark green shirt had the sleeves rolled up to show surprisingly muscular forearms. A long, jagged scar stood out on the right one, running from wrist to elbow. His jeans fit him like a second skin, and Tina blushed as she caught herself admiring the view.

_I didn’t realize he’d be so….toned. Those jeans look really good on him._ She was used to seeing Newt bundled up in various layers against the winter chill. Even when they were running, he wore sweatshirts and baggy pants.

Her boot sent a small rock clanging against a nearby bucket and Newt turned around.

“Tina! I see you found it okay. How were the roads?” A few wisps of hay stuck out of his tousled hair and he had a smudge of something — dirt? — on one cheek. Sweat had gathered on his forehead from the work and he wiped an arm across his face.

“Not….” She had to stop and swallow. _Come on, girl. Keep it together._  “Not bad at all. And the lady in the office told me you were over here.”

He beamed. “Yes, I was just finishing up — Copper is the last one. Would you like to meet him?”

“Sure.”

“Just a minute….” He went over to one of the bins and took out two apples. “A bribe is always good!”

Tina raised an eyebrow. “Does that just apply to horses or does it work on you, too?”

“Oh, yeah, food is always a plus as far as I’m concerned!” He took her hand and pulled her into the stall. “Copper, this is Tina. Tina, meet Copper.”

At the introduction, the reddish-colored horse turned from his manger with hay hanging out of his mouth. As he caught the scent of their apples his head came up and he stepped quickly over to them.

“Yes, that got your attention, didn’t it?” Newt put a hand on the animal’s chest, making him step back. “Now be a gentleman and behave.”

Tina forced herself to stay still. “He’s a lot bigger close up than I thought,” she said, glad that her voice didn’t shake.

Newt patted the sleek neck. “He’s not as big as some we have. Now, hold your hand out flat and keep your fingers together. That’s right.” He balanced an apple on her palm. “Just let him take it from you.”

It took all of Tina’s self control not to move when Copper leaned forward to crunch the apple in half with a set of huge teeth. He gulped it down and took the other half delicately, lips tickling her palm. When it was gone, he nudged her hard, looking for more and sent her stumbling back against Newt.

“Sorry!” he steadied her and held out the other apple. “He can be a bit greedy, but he’s a good sort.” He dusted his hands off against his jeans, and again Tina found herself distracted. “Now, are you still up for a ride?”

_The horse or you?_ Tina bit her lip and pushed that thought to the back of her mind. “I think so, but I don’t know how to do anything — the saddle and all that.”

“Not a problem!” Newt’s enthusiasm was infectious. “I’ll show you, and you’ll pick it up in no time. Come on.”

He led her around to a front stall where a tall white horse with black splotches whinnied in greeting.

“Is this Patch?” Tina put out a hand and gently rubbed the long nose. “He looks just like the figurine you gave me.”

“I know, right? I’m so glad I saw it in the shop.” Newt took down the halter hanging outside Patch’s stall. “Why don’t you lead him out?”

He showed her how to slide on the halter, fasten the rope and guide the horse out into the aisle. “Never loop the rope around your wrist.” He grimaced. “I’ve seen someone lose a hand that way.”

She shivered. “No, I won’t.” She had thought it would be like walking Queenie’s little dog, but there was no mistaking Patch was much larger and stronger than any dog.

“Let’s bring him over here, and you can give him a quick brush while I get Rebel for myself.” He helped her secure Patch to a nearby rail and brought her one of the boxes of brushes. “You can talk to him while you work. He’s very sociable.”

_What on earth am I supposed to say? If Queenie were here instead of me, she’d probably go on about his eyelashes._ Luckily, Newt returned with a rangy dark brown horse before Tina had time to consider what topic of conversation might be best.

“I’m not keeping you from your work, am I?” There was something soothing about tending to the horse with all the different tools, cleaning away dust and loose hair until he was shiny and neat. Patch seemed to enjoy it too, his eyes half-closed in pleasure.

Newt shook his head and dropped the hoof pick back into its box. “No, it’s quiet here at Christmas. Lessons won’t start up again until the new year. People who board their horses will still come out, but otherwise, it’s pretty dead.”

He came around to Patch, slapping the dappled shoulder. “Wake up, pal — work to do.”

Tina giggled when the horse responded with a snort and an irritated shake of the head. “I think having a spa day put him to sleep.”

“Oh, he’s a rascal,” Newt chuckled. “He likes to roll in the mud right after a bath and it’s hell getting him clean again. Okay, let’s get our tack.”

He led her to the storage room and found the bridle with Patch’s name. “That’s for you. And I’ll take these….” He gathered up a Western-style saddle and bridle along with other assorted things Tina didn’t know the names of.

Tina stared at the bridle’s confusing arrangement of straps and buckles. “No saddle for me?” _I’m not so sure about this. I’m really not. Is it too late to back out? Relax, Tina. He won’t let anything happen to you._

“Nope! This will be much easier for your first time; trust me. And it’s very relaxing when you get used to it.” He stopped and set down his armload. “I almost forgot. You need a helmet.” He selected one from the shelf. “Don’t worry; we disinfect them after every use.” He showed her how to adjust the straps so the headgear was neither too tight or too loose. “Perfect!”

“You don’t wear one?” _I wonder what he’d look like in a cowboy hat?_

He hefted the saddle again and smirked over his shoulder at her. “Nah. Theseus says I have no brains to protect anyway.” They went back out, with Newt carrying the heavy pile of gear as though it weighed nothing at all.  

Tina watched as he decked Rebel out in blanket, saddle, and bridle. His movements were gentle and sure with the ease of long practice. “When did you learn how to ride?”

He leaned down to check the tightness of the cinch holding the saddle in place. “When we moved to Australia the first time, Theseus and I stayed with our grandparents while Mum and Dad set things up with their research. It wasn’t the outback, but it was pretty rural. Anyway, they had horses, so we learned.” He grinned over at her. “Mostly by trial and error. There was a lot of falling off involved.”

“You’re not making me feel any better, you know?” Tina patted Patch’s neck and tried to calm her suddenly queasy stomach, visions of blood and broken bones filling her mind.

“Hey. You’ll be fine. I’ll hold your reins the whole time if you want.” He gave her a wink. “Did you ever go on the pony rides at the county fair?”

She smiled, remembering. “Sometimes. I think Mom was secretly terrified we’d be trampled.”

“It’ll be just like that. Only…..taller.”

That made her laugh. “Alright, you’ve convinced me.”

“Good! Then let’s get this trail ride started.”

He gave her a leg up, and she gulped as she settled, hips spread uncomfortably wide. “May I?” He held out a hand and she nodded, letting out a breath as he adjusted her position. “Just like that….sit up nice and tall….beautiful.”

Tina blushed “He’s so warm!” She combed her fingers through Patch’s mane, and he flicked an ear back as if listening to their conversation. _He didn’t mean it. No one’s ever called me ‘beautiful’ before._

Newt gave her leg a final pat. “You’ve got a lovely seat. Umm…That’s a technical term, seat, honestly. It means you’re well centered, and…” He left off when she giggled. “And I’ll stop babbling now.”

“It’s okay. Thanks for the compliment — I think.”

He swung into the saddle and took her reins. “I’ll hold these until you say you want them, OK? Just squeeze with your lower leg — keep your heels out — to tell him you want to walk. Hold onto his mane if you need to.”  

She did and they moved forward together. For the first few steps, Tina felt unsteady, but as she got used to the motion, it became more natural and she relaxed.

“How’re you doing over there?” Newt looked a bit anxious. “Comfortable?”

Tina smiled. “It’s….a bit like being a centaur, isn’t it?”

He laughed. “I never thought it of like that, but yeah, I guess it is.” He led them to a gate in the largest field and unlatching it, let her go through first before he followed and shut it behind him.

They ambled along in silence, breath steaming as the sun rose higher in the clear sky. “So what do you do here?” Tina ventured after a while. She turned her head just enough to see Newt’s profile.

“A little of everything really: work with the horses, teach lessons, whatever they need help with.” He grinned. “I really enjoy the kids; they’re so interested and ready to learn.”

“Sounds like you should’ve been a teacher,” she teased.

He clutched at his chest in mock horror. “And have to deal with more education? No thank you! I want to do something instead of sitting in a classroom for years.”

“Uh, Newt….I hate to tell you this but…..you’re a college student, and that usually means sitting in a classroom for years.”

“Smart arse. That’s not what I mean, though.” He huffed in frustration and Rebel danced under him as if sensing his restlessness. “I don’t mind learning what I _need_ to know — all the anatomy and science. It’s the other stuff that seems pointless.”

Tina frowned. “But you have to take all the core classes before you can get to the ones for your major. You don’t have a choice, really.”

He sighed. “I know. Don’t mind me. I told you — this is all new. Anyway, do you want to try using the reins now and guiding him yourself?”

“I guess I’m game.” She leaned forward to give Patch a hug. “He’s being such a sweetheart.”

“He likes you…..he’s not this laid back for everyone.”

He passed her the reins and showed her how to hold them. When they resumed walking, he said. “You know, if you wanted to learn how to ride — properly, I mean. I could teach you. You could come out on weekends…..” He stuttered to a halt and looked down. “If, you wanted to, I mean. I just thought….”

“I’d like that.”

His head swung around and he stared at her, hazel eyes very wide. “What?”

“I’d like to do that: take lessons with you,” Tina’s hands tightened around the reins and Patch shuffled to a stop. Tina turned him — slowly and carefully — so they were facing Newt and Rebel. “I think it would be fun.” _And I wouldn’t mind getting to learn more about you, too._

“Brilliant! It’s a plan, then. Are you hungry? There’s a little cafe down the road where we can get, what do you call it? Brunch?”

_And spend more time talking?_ “That sounds wonderful. I only had a granola bar before I left this morning.”

Laughing and chatting, they turned the horses back toward the barn.


	4. Chapter 4

"My mom's going to call my professor and have the grade changed. I mean, it's not my fault the last class they had was for eight o'clock....."   
  
"Yeah, Dad talked to the coach. He said I shouldn't be expected to....."    
  
Tina stared down at her keyboard through a haze of tears. Everything in her wanted to turn around and scream at them, "Don't you know how lucky you are to have parents at all?"    
  
A sob inched its way up her throat, and she slammed down the screen, stuffing the laptop back in her bag with the rest of her books. The voices behind her cut off abruptly as she stood up and yanked on her jacket. Keeping her head down, she pushed towards the sociology classroom door through the last few arrivals.    
  
"Tina?"    
  
She shook off Professor Crowley's gentle hand on her arm, flinching away from her concerned frown. "I can't do this today.....I'm sorry."    
  
Hardly able to see where she was going, she left the building with her mind in a whirl.  _ I can't go back to the room, Seraphina's still asleep. Queenie’s working. Newt. He doesn't have class today.  _   
  
With shaking hands, she fumbled her cell phone from her backpack and touched Newt's icon on the home screen — a picture of him on Rebel.    
  
"Tina, what's wrong?" Newt's voice was sharp with concern.    
  
She struggled to get the words out around the lump in her throat. "Can.....can you come get me? Please?" 

Since the start of the second semester, she and Newt had grown closer, sharing morning runs, classes, weekends at the barn and most evenings together at the bakery or a movie. Tina had come to love his cheerful nature which was the perfect contrast to her own more pragmatic attitude.    
  
"Of course. Where are you?" Muffled barking and a rattle of keys interrupted him.    
  
"In front of the sociology building. I didn't know where else to go."    
  
She heard the sound of a door slamming. "I'm getting in the car right now. Can you meet me where I usually park?"    
  
She sniffed and made an effort to get herself under control. "OK."    
  
"I'll be there in just a few." The line went dead.

Newt’s car lurched to a stop beside her, and then he was pulling her into his arms. She sobbed into his yellow and black scarf, clutching him tightly. 

“Hush….hush, love. Come on, get in the car before you freeze. Where are your gloves?” The parking lot had been cleared of snow, but as he opened the door for her, more flakes drifted down. 

She hiccuped and wiped at her eyes with a sleeve. “In my bag, I guess. I just had to get out.” 

He turned the heat on full blast and took her cold hands between his own warm ones. “Can you tell me what happened?”

“It’s stupid.” 

He snorted, sounding a bit like one of the horses he loved so much. “I doubt it.” 

“They were talking about their parents solving all their problems, and I just couldn’t….I’d give anything….” She didn’t finish. 

Newt pulled her into an awkward hug with the console between them. “Bugger. I’m sorry, Tina.” 

“I love it when you swear.” She breathed in the comforting scent of hay, leather and mint before pulling away reluctantly. “I’d better clean up and go back to class.”  _ Maybe I can sneak in without waking Sera.  _

“Nope.” Newt restarted the car. “You’re taking the day off.” 

“Newt, I can’t! The semester’s just started. Dr. Crowley is my advisor — I need to apologize for leaving like that, and —.” 

He pulled out onto the highway. “Do it on Monday. Do you really think you can handle class today?” 

“No.” Chastened, Tina fastened her seatbelt and gazed out the window at the white landscape. _ I think he knows me better than I know myself sometimes.  _

“Alright then.” 

She took several deep breaths, pushing away the tears before she asked. “Where are we going?” 

“To the bakery. Some breakfast will make you feel better, and so will talking to Queenie.” 

She reached over and laid a hand on his arm. “I love you.” 

He beamed. “Oh, can I say it now? I didn’t want to be the one to go first in case you thought I was moving too fast.”

A few more tears leaked out anyway. “Yes, you can say it, you goof.” 

“I love you, too.” He took her hand and they rode the rest of the way like that. 

Queenie met them at the front door. “I had a feeling you’d be by today. I had one of my dreams last night.” She reached up and gave Tina a hug. “It’s okay, Teenie.” 

“Some sweet, hot tea and maybe some toast should help,” Newt said helping Tina off with her jacket and hanging it beside his own on a peg. 

“I’ll get that,” Jacob said. “Why don’t you two go upstairs where it’s quieter?”

Queenie nodded and guided Tina toward the door leading to the apartment stairs. “Come on, honey.” 

As the door closed behind them, Tina glanced back to see Newt stepping behind the counter after Jacob. 

“I don’t blame you for being upset!” Queenie said when Tina had poured out the whole story, leaving out only the mutual declarations of love because  _ some  _ things need to be private. 

“It just made me so mad!" Tina took a gulp of tea and winced when it burned her tongue. It and one of Mrs. Kowalski's afghans were finally warming her up. "I guess I can't be so high and mighty really since Mom and I argued before....."   
  
_ It was such a stupid thing to fight over, too. She just wanted me to go on the senior trip and have fun. But I thought studying was more important.  _   
  
Queenie leaned her head on Tina's shoulder and sighed. "Teenie, I told you to stop doin' that. None of it was your fault. You couldn't have known what would happen and neither could Mom and Dad."   
  
"I know....." Tina set down her cup and wrapped an end of the blanket around her sister as if they were children again reading stories under the covers at night.   
  
"You never really took the time to grieve for them did you?" Queenie said after a time. "You were so determined to take care of me and do everything that needed doing. We were all really worried about you."    
  
Tina choked on a mouthful of toast and stared at her. "Who was?"  _ And why didn't I know they were?  _   
  
"Me, Jacob, Seraphina, Mama and Daddy Kowalski, all your teachers, the principal, the neighbors and probably a few other people I’m forgetting,” Queenie said, ticking them off on her fingers.. 

“Why didn’t you say anything? “Tina asked faintly. Her face felt numb and her head buzzed like someone had slipped a shot of whiskey into her tea.  _ I probably wouldn’t have asked for help even if I’d known. It was easier to just do what needed to be done. That way I didn’t have to think. _

Queenie shrugged and took a wedge of toast. “Mama Kowalski said not to push. She said it would happen in its own time, and we just needed to be here for you when it did.” 

Tina could only nod. “Oh. I’m glad you were. And Newt.” 

“Speaking of Mr. Australia,” Queenie teased. “You need to show me those pictures you were talking about last night.” 

“No, I don’t think I do.”  _ Why can’t I have anything private?  _

“Oh, come on, Teenie! Please….The horse sounds really cute too.” 

Tina rolled her eyes. “Alright, you win.” She took her phone from her pocket. “This is Patch….

When they went downstairs half an hour later, Newt and Jacob were having tea and pastries in the kitchen.

“Feeling better?” Newt’s smile was strained and he looked even paler than usual. 

_ I wonder what they’ve been talking about that got him so upset.  _ Tina snagged the last piece of an apple fritter from the plate in front of him. “Very much so.” She went around to Jacob and hugged him. “Thanks for the tea and sympathy, Jake.” 

He patted her back. “Any time, Teen. So what’re you and Newt doing with the rest of your day?” 

“I’m not sure. He’s pretty much kidnapped me, so I guess it’s up to him.”    


Newt grinned. “I thought we’d go over to my apartment for a while. You can meet all my creatures and maybe we can get something delivered for lunch.” 

“Hush!” Queenie giggled. “We don’t talk about restaurant food around here. You’d better go before Mama Kowalski hears and sends you home with a three-course meal. She’s doing the weekly grocery run, but she should be back soon.” 

Tina hauled Newt to his feet. “Okay, we’re going!” She gave Queenie another hug. “Thanks. I’ll talk to you tomorrow?” 

“Sure! Have fun!”

Newt had a loft apartment in one of the converted mills on the river. As far as Tina knew, they were outrageously expensive and were  _ not  _ student housing in any way, shape or form.  _ How can he afford to live here? No one I know can afford to live here.  _

The lobby was all original brick walls with hardwood floors and an atrium of wrought iron railings stretching up several stories to the huge skylight far above. 

Newt cleared his throat nervously as they waited for the elevator. “I know what you’re thinking, and I could never afford to live here on my own. I mean, you’ve seen my car.” 

“So, how did you end up here?” _ Don’t judge unless you know the whole story. And don’t judge even then. _ It was something their mother had drilled into Tina and Queenie since they were children. 

They stepped into the lift and Newt pressed the button for the third floor. “My grandfather is a barrister in London, and he has more money than he knows what to do with. He set up a trust for me and Theseus both. When he heard I was finally going to ‘get a degree and make something of my life’,” Newt made air quotes, “He decided to support me, but strictly on his terms.” 

Tina nodded. “So the nice apartment but not the car,” she guessed.  _ That’s a little better than him being a spoiled rich boy.  _

“Exactly! And I like The Suitcase. We understand each other. The apartment…I’ve done the best I could but.....” They stepped out into the hallway and he waved a hand. “All this metal and stone. It’s too sparse for my taste.” 

He unlocked the door and ushered Tina inside. “Home sweet home — for right now, anyway.”

A storm of barking met them before Newt was swarmed by two dogs — one black and one sand colored. He crouched down and hugged them. “Yes, yes. I’m here….hush. There’s my good boys. The black Scottie is Dougal and the mutt is Frank,” he told Tina. “You can pet them if you want.” 

She stooped down and gingerly offered her hand to Dougal who licked it politely. “I’m not very good with dogs. Queenie and Jacob have a little, fat thing — maybe a Chihuahua? — and it hates me. I guess it was sleeping today because I didn’t see it.” 

Newt laughed and stood up with a final ear scratch for both animals. “They can be very territorial, so I wouldn’t take it personally.” 

Tina patted Frank’s head earning an enthusiastic tag wag in response. “That’s what Jacob said.” She got to her feet. “Once he stopped laughing.” 

A grey streak bounded from the back of the sofa, straight towards Newt. It swarmed up his legs and onto his shoulders to be revealed as a lanky, gray tabby cat with enormous green eyes. 

“And this is Pickett,” Newt said, apparently used to such a greeting. “She has attachment issues. I’m supposed to be fostering her for the shelter, but I think I’m going to end up keeping her. She gets so upset when I leave. Don’t you, girl?” 

Pickett purred loudly and rubbed her head against the side of Newt’s face affectionately. 

Tina looked around at the apartment. Here were more exposed brick walls, high, wood-beamed ceilings and three floor-to-ceiling windows covered with blinds. It had an open floor plan with a kitchen area in one corner, all gleaming stainless-steel appliances. Two doors led off of the living room space, presumably to a bedroom and maybe a closet or office. The overall effect was one of industrial starkness, made more exact by the weak winter sunshine coming through the open blinds. 

“Newt this is amazing.” 

He had scattered bright rugs on the dark, wooden floors, while plants rested on every available surface. The walls were decorated with Japanese fans, aboriginal masks, a set of oars and other decidedly tropical and Asian nick nacks. Among these were several large frames. Each contained a map and multiple photos, postcards, and brochures. Tina recognized the Hawaiian islands, Australia, the coastal U.S., Florida and what she thought must be Japan — all places Newt had lived. 

She walked closer to the one devoted to Florida. “Is this your brother, Theseus?” She pointed to a photo showing a younger, extremely freckled Newt with an older, dark-haired boy. They both wore swim trunks and held surfboards. 

“Yeah, we were….14 and 19 there, I think. It was supposed to be a family vacation since Theseus was home from university, but our parents ended up being asked to consult on some sea turtles at the local rehab facility. So Theseus and I spent every day at the beach which suited us just fine.”

Tina wandered from one display to another, ending up at the windows taking up all of the facing wall. Newt pulled up the blinds and they looked out at a swirl of snowflakes threatening to obscure the river. “What an amazing view…” A huge yawn made her blush. “Sorry, it’s not that I think you’re boring or anything.” 

He smiled. "You've had a hard morning, love. Why don't you have a kip and then we'll order some lunch?"   
  
The word was unfamiliar, but she guessed what it meant. "A kip?" she teased.   
  
"A nap then." He took her hand and tugged gently to one of the doors which he opened to reveal a comparatively small bedroom with only one of the huge windows. A queen bed stood against the opposite wall covered by a blue comforter. Like the living room, the walls held an array of photos, and plants lined the window sill. An open door led to a bathroom.    
  
"I changed the sheets this morning — right before you called, actually — and you can borrow a T-shirt and a pair of my pajama pants if you want."    
  
A bit overwhelmed, Tina said the first thing that came into her head. "So this is all a ploy to get me into your bed, is that it?"    
  
She'd meant it playfully, but Newt's smile vanished and he turned away. "No....Tina, it's not....I just thought....."    
  
Horrified, she tugged on his arm trying to get him to look at her. "Shit, I'm sorry, Newt. I didn't mean it like that." When he didn't budge, she dropped her hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't sleep well last night, and then everything this morning....I get stupid when I'm tired."   
  
He gave a tiny nod and wandered over the dresser, rearranging the odds and ends scattered across it. "That's alright."    
  
She stepped up beside him and looked at them both in the mirror. "And I'm not sure how this boyfriend/girlfriend thing really works," she told their reflections.  _ Since we're making declarations of love and all that. I might as well be honest. _   
  
His eyes met hers, surprised. "I think you're doing brilliantly so far. I'm the one....."    
  
This time, he turned at her urging. She wasn't sure if he leaned down first or she stretched up, but somehow their lips managed to connect.    
  
"Was that our first kiss?" he mumbled into her hair.   
  
"I guess so." His heart under her cheek was beating fast. Or maybe it was hers.

He sighed, all the tension going out of him. "Let's see if we can do better."    
  
"Don't they say practice makes perfect?" She twined her arms around his neck, and it was a while before they separated, breathing hard.    
  
"That was....." Newt managed, his voice a little unsteady.    
  
"Wasn't it?" Tina touched his jaw, feeling the prickle of his stubble against her fingers. "Can we start over? Please?"   
  
He nodded but still looked a bit wary.    
  
"Yes, a nap would be wonderful right now. On one condition."    
  
"What's that?" he whispered.    
  
She took a deep breath for courage. "Lie down with me?"    
  
His hazel eyes went even wider. "You're sure? I don't want to push you into anything, Tina."   
  
"You're not. I'm inviting," she said firmly.    
  
He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "If you’re certain."    
  
Alone in the bathroom clutching a maroon T-shirt and a pair of grey plaid flannel pajama pants, Tina sagged against the sink.  _ I can't believe I'm doing this.  _ __   
  
She hadn't lied; she'd dated a few times in high school, but it was never anything serious. She had skipped her junior prom and not regretted it. Queenie had insisted on dragging her to a movie instead.  __ Maybe I should've listened to her more often when she tried to talk to me about guys. Maybe I wouldn’t have been so flattered when Percival asked me out.    
  
The clothes smelled of fabric softener and Newt. She washed the tear stains from her face with a washcloth she found in the linen closet. 

_ At least I don’t wear much makeup, so I won’t totally shock him by looking like a goul.  _

Still, nothing could help her red, swollen eyes and puffy face, but she was too exhausted to care. 

When she emerged, Newt was sitting on the side of the bed in a white T-shirt and blue pajama pants. He held out a hand and she allowed him to pull her close.

“Feel better, love?” 

“Much.” She leaned down and kissed him, acutely aware that the difference in their positions meant that her breasts were right in his face. 

He rested his hands lightly on her hips and deepened the kiss, sending a shiver of unaccustomed desire through her. “Are you cold? I thought I kept it pretty warm in here, but I can turn up the heat if you….” 

“Not that kind of heat,” she managed, blushing like a 13-year-old with her first crush. 

“Ah.” His hands squeezed once before letting go. “Sleep first, and then we’ll think about other….things.” 

She tried to stifle a yawn with no success. “Should we expect some four-legged companions? Which side do you usually sleep on?” 

“Doesn’t matter. And just Pickett, if that’s okay with you. I should’ve asked if you’re allergic. The dogs know to stay out.” He settled on his side, pillow bunched under his head. His hair stuck up in a ridiculous quiff that made her smile.  “There’s just no  _ room _ for all of us!” 

“I bet that was a hard lesson to learn.” She lay down gingerly, facing him. The pillow was a nice one, and she contemplated stealing it before deciding he would probably notice if it went missing.

“You don’t want to know…..a solid month of pissing on everything I owned. I had to throw out three pairs of shoes.” She giggled as he rolled his eyes. “Why are you laughing? It wasn’t funny.” His stuck his lower lip out in an exaggerated pout. 

“Yes it is.” After a minute she asked, “So what did you and Jacob talk about while Queenie and I were upstairs?” 

He sobered at once. “He told me about the accident and....after. I’m so sorry you had to deal with that, Tina.” 

“Well, according to Queenie, everyone we knew was waiting to help if I asked, but I never did. Too stubborn, I guess.” 

“That’s not a bad thing, necessarily. Jacob suggested you and I plan some fun things to do together....stuff to look forward to.” 

Sleepiness was washing over her in great waves. “Got anything in mind?” 

“Yes, but we’ll talk about it over lunch.” 

“Okay….” And then the tide dragged her under. 


	5. Chapter 5

Sensation returned first — softness cushioning her body, a warm, solid presence behind her and another pressing against her front. The dream of her parents drifted away in favor of curiosity.  _ This isn’t my dorm. There’s no room in my bed for more than one person. And it doesn’t smell like Queenie and Jacob’s place.  _

She opened one eye and read the title of a book on the nightstand: On the Origin of Species.  _ Nope, definitely  _ not  _ my room.  _ Something moved against her chest, making her jump. She looked down into Pickett’s sleepy gaze, and the cat meowed plaintively. 

A freckled arm stretched across Tina. “Hush, I fed you before I left, remember?” Newt mumbled in her ear. An equally freckled hand stroked the cat’s head before curling in to pull Tina closer. “Did she wake you? 

“No.” She snuggled back against him, ignoring a frisson of nervousness as her sleepy brain registered their intimate position.  _ Shut up _ , she told it firmly. “Just a dream.” 

He twined his fingers with hers where they lay on Pickett’s soft fur. “Bad one?” 

“Not really. It’s getting to where it doesn’t hurt so much, you know? Or I thought it was.” 

“Hmmm….” He brushed her hair aside and pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. She shivered when her nipples tightened under the borrowed T-shirt. “I could take your mind off it if you wanted.” 

She swallowed hard.  _ Here goes. _ “Like I said, I haven’t done any of this before.” 

“Seriously?” His arm disappeared and she tensed, expecting to feel him getting up. Instead, he leaned over so he could see her face. “American men must be totally blind, then.” 

Tina blinked back fresh tears at the compliment. “I dated a little, but they were all so pushy thinking one date meant instant sex.” 

He tugged gently on her shoulder, urging her to roll onto her back. Disgruntled, Pickett jumped to the floor and padded off into the living room. 

“You don’t have to worry about that. For one thing, I’ve no condoms at the moment, so unless you’re on the pill?” He looked down at her, his mobile features serious in the dim light from the window. 

“No. Not yet, anyway,” she added with a surge of boldness.  _ Note to self, make an appointment with student health services on Monday. _

He smiled and kissed the tip of her nose playfully. “No rush. There are plenty of things we can do that are just as much fun.” Another kiss, to her forehead this time. 

She wrapped a hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down so their lips met. “That’s what you said before we went to sleep.” Desire stirred as she wondered what he had in mind.

“I did, didn’t I?” He sat back and appraised her. “Comfortable?” 

“Yeah.” She wriggled a bit, giggling as the motion drew his attention to her breasts like a magnet to true North. “See something you like?” It should’ve sounded stupid, like something from those trashy novels Queenie read, but it didn’t. 

His Adam’s apple bobbed when he swallowed, looking dazed. “Very much. But I like the person they’re attached to as well.” 

“Flatterer.” She had a feeling her smirk wasn’t quite as lethal as she hoped.

“I guess I’ll just have to show you.” He rested a hand on her stomach, and she couldn’t suppress a start at the contact. “You’re sensitive. You know….” The hand began to stroke up and down her torso in a soothing motion. “The fact that you don’t have any experience is a good thing. We can find out what you like and don’t like together.” 

She resisted the urge to purr, a bit alarmed at how quickly he could take down her defenses. “I’m not totally clueless.” She was blushing, but she didn’t care anymore. Clearly, this time with Newt would be very different from her own fumbling explorations when she was unable to sleep. 

“Good; you can tell me when I do something wrong then.” His hand paused just below her breasts before moving down to hesitate at the waist of her pants. 

“What about you? It’s not fair for me to have all the fun.” This time, he cupped her breast, thumb sweeping over the already taut nipple before sliding away.  _ Oh! _ “Do that again.” 

He obliged, flicking it with his nail and making her gasp. “Don’t worry about me right now. I think you could come just from this.” He stretched out lazily beside her, green eyes intent on her face. 

It took a minute for her to find words. “You — you can try, I guess.”  _ Holy shit. I didn’t know it would be that good; when I touch them it doesn’t feel like anything.  _

“Do or do not. There is no try.” Newt intoned with mock seriousness.

Her laugh turned into a cry as he leaned over and took her nipple between his lips. The resulting snap of pleasure made her squirm. “Newt!” 

He pulled away, leaving a dark, wet patch on the fabric. “Nice, but you need a matching set,” he added thoughtfully. 

Before she could cudgel her overloaded brain into forming a reply, Newt’s mouth descended again on the other side. “Oh god!” The warm suction sent her rushing to the edge much faster than she had thought possible.

This time, his own breathing was ragged, pupils blown wide when he raised his head. 

_ He’s actually enjoying this _ , she thought wonderingly. 

His hand toyed with the hem of her shirt. “Can I take this off?” 

“Yeah.” She watched in a daze as he pushed the fabric up and over her head, baring pale skin an inch at a time. She’d always felt ashamed of her breasts because they were so small. Suddenly uncomfortable with the scrutiny, she moved instinctively to cover herself. 

“No, don’t. Sorry; I’m not being fair.” Newt yanked off his own T-shirt, tossing it carelessly to the floor. “Now we’re a bit more even.” 

His words barely registered as she drank in his appearance. She had expected freckles and pale skin. What she hadn’t pictured was the thin line of hair bisecting his torso, or how his forearms were noticeably darker than the rest of him. Nor had she expected the scars that littered his chest and arms in all shapes and sizes. 

“How?” She sat up, bareness forgotten and traced one that lay over his heart in a long, curving white slash. 

He shrugged. “This and that over the years. Like I said, we lived in some out of the way places, and Theseus and I had to make our own fun. Sometimes we fucked around and got hurt.” 

“It looks like somebody used you for a knife sharpener.” She bent down and pressed her lips to the mark, smiling when she felt him shiver in his turn. 

“Don’t mind that now. This is supposed to be about you, remember?” He helped her lie back against the pillow again. 

She pulled him to her for a hungry kiss, thrilling at the feel of his skin on hers. “You spoil me.” She gasped as his mouth moved across her chin to nibble on her earlobe.

He hummed thoughtfully against her neck. “You deserve to be spoiled.” 

Kisses gave way to sucking, and she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped. “Queenie and Seraphina are gonna notice that for sure.” 

“Good,” he whispered, shifting his attention to her clavicle. “It will give them something new to talk about.”

He nibbled his way back to her breasts, before circling one dark pink nipple with a fingertip. “Lovely.” 

She pressed her thighs together, searching for friction to ease the building ache. “More...please.” 

_ Oh god, oh god, oh god!  _ Without the barrier of fabric, the effect of Newt’s mouth was electric. Each tug of his lips (and was that teeth?) and swipe of his tongue drove her higher. She sank her hands into his hair, desperate to keep him close. “Don’t stop!”

He switched to the other side and slid one hand down to her pants, watching to make sure she understood his intentions. When she nodded frantically, he slipped beneath the waistband. 

“Newt…” He cupped her in his palm and she thrust her hips up, eager for his touch. Calloused fingers found her clit and massaged, but it wasn’t enough. She whined in frustration, balanced on a knife’s edge and unable to fall. 

Her nipple came free from his lips with an almost obscene pop as he stretched up to kiss her. “Let go, Tina. I’ll catch you.” The fingers dipped between her damp folds, pushing inside slowly. 

Gasping, Tina fisted the sheets beneath her as he returned his attention to her breasts, ringing her nipple with his teeth and tugging lightly. Then, his fingers pressed in just the right spot and she came hard, barely remembering to turn her face into the pillow to muffle her cries from the neighbors. 

When she could breathe again, Newt’s head was resting on her chest as he watched her. She reached out and smoothed a wild lock of hair out of his face. “Wow. Thanks for that.” 

He grinned. “You’re welcome; it was my pleasure.”

Unwilling to move, they lay quietly, her hand combing through his hair. 

She darted a glance downward, but from this angle, it was impossible to see if he had been affected by their activities.  _ I wonder if he’d show me what he likes if I asked?  _

“Spend the weekend with me.” 

Her hand stopped stroking. “Newt…I really shouldn’t. I dropped the ball today, and….” 

“Please? It’s Friday. We’ve got astronomy first thing on Monday. I need to stop by the barn for a while in the morning, but other than that I’m all yours.”

She smirked. “What will I do about clothes?” 

He gave her a wicked grin. “Who says you need any? We can always come back and stay here. I have  _ ideas _ .” 

“Ass.” She pinched his earlobe gently. “I guess I can pack a bag. I’ll tell Sera I’m staying with Queenie.” Her stomach rumbled, and Newt pressed a kiss to it. 

“We’ll do that right after lunch.” With a groan, he sat up and handed her the discarded T-shirt. “I’ll order the food if you want to get cleaned up a bit.” 

Blushing, she clutched the shirt to her chest, suddenly aware of the stickiness on her inner thighs. “Yeah, that sounds good. What about that Asian place down from the bakery? Everything they have is good.” 

“Oh, yeah, they’re great!” He leaned down for another kiss.  _ We seem to be doing a lot of that _ . “Take your time.” 

*****

Over salmon rolls and beef lo mein with Animal Planet on the TV, she asked, “So what ideas did you and Jacob come up with?” She pushed aside Frank’s inquisitive nose as the dog tried once again to jump onto the couch with them. Pickett sat on the side table ignoring the whole thing 

Newt smirked around his chopsticks. “Quite a lot, actually. I was surprised how much there is to do here in the winter. He offered to take me to a hockey game for starters.”

“He’s a huge sports fan,” Tina agreed. “He’ll talk your ear off given half the chance.” 

“I don’t mind. I’m mostly into football myself — that’s soccer to you. He also said ice skating is popular — that’s another thing I’ve never done.”

She nodded. “I can teach you….I’ve known how since I was little. Our parents used to take me and Queenie to the Frog Pond on the Common. What else? Besides the usual stuff like movies, I mean?” 

“I thought we could go camping for a couple of days. The Berkshires aren’t that far of a drive from what I can tell. And we can take a telescope with us - maybe wheedle some extra credit for astronomy class.” 

“What?” Tina stared at him. “Are you crazy? It’s middle of winter in case you hadn’t noticed all that snow.” _ I knew he was a bit reckless about his own safety around the horses, but I didn’t realize he was this out there.  _

“No, no, we’ll wait until the weather turns. You said you ran cross-country in secondary school, right? We may have to hike a bit, depending on where we go exactly.”

She nodded, already wondering if she had the right type of clothes for something like this.  _ Can you rent camping gear? Guess I’m gonna find out.  _

“You’ll do fine!” He gave her that sidelong glance from under his flop of hair that always made her melt. “The stars will be particularly lovely up there.” 

She shook her head.  _ He’s going to talk me into it. _ “When would we go?” 

He fished a piece of chicken out of his carton and tossed it to Dougal who caught it in midair. “It’s February now….Mid-May I guess? The weather should be better by then.” 

“That might be okay,” she said feeling a bit more optimistic. “It will be warmer by then and the snow will probably be gone.” She sighed with fond exasperation. “Before I met you my life was at least predictable.” 

“But predictable is so boring!” He set his empty carton in front of Pickett, but the cat only blinked at him. “You’ve been having a grand time, especially the past couple of hours, I think?” 

She blushed hotly. “Yeah, that was….pretty nice.”  _ Try mind-blowing.  _

“Pretty nice?” His smile told her he was only teasing. “We can do more if you want. Or not — up to you.” 

“On one condition — you have to teach me how to return the favor.”

Newt’s smile widened. “I believe I can do that, Miss Goldstein.” 


	6. Chapter 6

"Okay, you're all set, Tina! Here's the date of your next appointment."

Tina forced a weak smile for the clinic receptionist and shoved the proffered business card deep into her jacket pocket along with the starter pack of birth control and the brochures she’d already been given. "Thanks."

Queenie gave her a sympathetic look as she put down the old issue of Cosmo she’d been paging through in the waiting room. “Come on, Teenie, let’s drop off your prescription and get some lunch. I bet you didn’t have breakfast, did you?”

“No, I was too nervous. I think I laid awake half the night trying to convince myself I really wanted to do this.” Tina took a deep breath and felt herself relax for the first time all morning. The doctor had even commented on how tense she was during the exam.

“Awww….You know Mom would’ve taken you any time if you’d just asked.” Queenie slipped into the driver’s seat of the red Toyota Corolla that had once belonged to their father.

Tina fastened her seatbelt and shrugged. “I know. But cramps never bothered me like they did you, and there weren't any guys I wanted to do stuff with.”

“Stuff?” Queenie giggled. “Not even Karl?”

“Not really. Well, that night before he left for Basic Training was pretty….intense.” _Karl was sweet, but what I feel for Newt is different_ , Tina realized, _deeper somehow_. She fished her phone from her purse. She’d promised Newt she’d give him an update.

**ShakespeareanPorcupine819** : Hey I'm done. Glad that's over.  
 **NewtTheSalamander** : How was it?  
 **ShakespeareanPorcupine819** : Very not fun. But she gave me the prescription & a week to start  
 **NewtTheSalamander** : Good! Can I kiss it and make it better?

Tina laughed out loud and replied.

**ShakespeareanPorcupine819** : Give me a day or two.  
 **NewtTheSalamander** : No problem. See you tonight. Love u.

"What're you grinning at? Lemme see!" Queenie craned her neck trying to get a peek at the screen.

Tina easily held the phone out of reach. "None of your business! Keep your eyes on the road! Where’re we going anyway?”

“I thought we’d head to the Pru, have lunch and shop a bit since the guys won’t be done for a while.” Jacob had invited Newt to a Saturday afternoon hockey game - Newt’s first.

“We haven’t been there since….” Tina trailed off, feeling the now-familiar pang of sadness whenever she thought of their parents.

“Since your eighteenth birthday,” Queenie finished. She smiled over at her sister. “We can talk about them, you know?” she said gently.

Tina sighed. “Yeah, I know.” Cautiously, as if prodding a sore tooth, she let herself remember. “It was supposed to be me and Seraphina, but she couldn’t go….”

“So Mom said we’d make it a girls day out — just the three of us,” Queenie added. “We had breakfast at IHOP and shopped and got our nails done.”

“And we each bought an outfit,” Tina remembered. “I loved that dress. I think it’s packed up with my summer clothes; I’m not sure where the shoes are, though.”

“Ooh...You should wear it for Newt sometime.” Queenie slid the car onto the interstate and joined the flow of late Saturday morning traffic heading for Boston. “He likes you in blue.”

Tina smirked. “I don’t think he notices what I wear most of the time.” _And he’d probably be happy if I didn’t wear anything at all_ , she added to herself with a shiver as she remembered the activities that had led to this morning’s appointment.

Luckily, Queenie was concentrating on the road and missed her reaction. “You’d be surprised what guys notice. Even Jacob doesn’t think about cooking all the time.”

“No, the other half is divided between you and sports,” Tina quipped, not unkindly. “I don’t think Newt’s prepared for how intense he can be. I tried to tell him, but I don’t think he understood.” While he hadn’t played football in high school himself, Jacob had been voted Most-Spirited in his senior year for attending every game with enthusiasm.

Queenie laughed. “Jake loves me, but sometimes hockey is a very close second. And football is third.”

“I’m glad he and Newt could catch a game this afternoon,” Tina said. “Newt hasn’t really met anyone the whole time he’s been here besides us. I know he misses his brother.”

“Who else does he need anyway?” Queenie wrinkled her nose playfully. “He’s practically family by now. Just last night Daddy Kowalski told me to ask you when he’ll be back around for dinner.”

Tina grinned. “Let him know it’ll probably be next week sometime.”

Laughing and chatting, they parked outside the Prudential Center and joined the flow of shoppers into the huge mall.

“Now for lunch!” Queenie announced. She checked a map and led the way to a particular restaurant on the second floor.

Tina hesitated when she saw the name. “Queenie, we don’t have to eat here. Pizza is fine.”

“We can get pizza any time, but this is a special occasion. My treat.” When Tina still hesitated, she said, “Come on, Teenie, please?”

Steeling herself, Tina let Queenie pull her gently inside. They had come to the Cheesecake Factory on her birthday that year, too. Tired and footsore, the three of them had sat surrounded by shopping bags and eaten dessert for lunch. Queenie had wanted the waitstaff to sing “Happy Birthday,” but their mother had taken one look at her older daughter’s red face and refused.

_I miss you, Mom_. Blinking back sudden tears, Tina slid into the booth across from Queenie and hurried to change the subject. “Did I tell you Newt cooked for me on Valentine’s Day? Lasagna. It was really good.”

“That’s great! What’d he get you? I know he remembered because he asked Jacob where he could buy flowers.”

“A really pretty bouquet, an orchid in a pot - I left it at his place, it gets more sun that way - and a mixtape of songs we both like. Well, it was a playlist really.” She smiled. “He apologized for being sappy, but I thought it was sweet.”

Queenie beamed. “I’m so glad you’re happy, Teenie. Newt’s good for you; and you’re good for him. Jacob said the other day that you guys just glow.”

“So do you and Jacob,” Tina shot back, enjoying to chance to do some teasing in her turn. “And it’s not like you’re still newlyweds even.”

“No, that’s true….” Queenie waited until they had given their drink orders to the waitress before she said quietly, “We’re trying to have a baby.”

Tina’s mouth fell open. “That’s wonderful! I bet Mama Kowalski is excited!”

“Oh, God….” Queenie rolled her eyes, but her expression was fond. “She keeps giving us these knowing looks and trying to get me to eat second helpings every time we see them for dinner. But yeah…..” She fiddled with her napkin. “Jake and I just figured, why wait, you know?”

“I think it’s great! You’ll have to tell me the minute you find out, okay?”

“I will! What about you and Newt?” Queenie shot her a coy look. “Am I gonna be gettin’ a brother-in-law any time soon?”

Tina took a drink of water before shaking her head. “It’s way too early. And I don’t want kids for a long time yet. I need to get through school first, plus law school and get a decent job. Then, I’ll think about it. Maybe.” Yeah, having a kid now would ruin all my plans just when things are finally starting to go right. And Newt’s the best of all those things.

Queenie pursed her lips. “Do you know what Newt wants? Has he said?”

“I know he likes kids, but he’s pretty much a big kid himself. I think he skips as many classes as he actually goes to.”

Unbidden, a picture flashed into her mind of Newt steadying a young child on the back of a pony as Tina led it in a slow circle. The child — it was impossible to tell if it was a boy or girl beneath the peacock blue helmet — laughed with glee and patted the pony’s neck with small freckled hands.

“But, we haven’t talked about it,” she added hastily, pushing the image firmly away.

Queenie gave her a knowing look, but to Tina’s vast relief, accepted this and asked about Seraphina’s latest girlfriend.

An hour later, stuffed full of cheesecake and wishing she hadn’t eaten so much, Tina studied the list of stores on the map. “Oh, they have a Dick’s! Let’s go there.”

Predictably, Queenie giggled over the name the way she always had. “Why do you wanna go in there?” She hurried to keep up with Tina’s longer strides. “And slow down, speedy! We’ve got all day.”

Tina did so, looking abashed. “Sorry. I’m used to Newt. He walks even faster than I do. He wants us to go to the Berkshires in May and stay overnight in a tent.” She sighed. “I don’t have the faintest idea what I need, but I thought I’d look anyway.”

“Oh, that sounds like fun!” Queenie gazed up at the storefront display of kayaks and mannequins dressed in the latest camping gear. “Jake’s not an outdoorsy sort of person, but it might be nice to get out every once in a while.”

“You hated Girl Scouts, remember?” Tina said, wincing as she checked the price tag on a flannel button-down shirt. _I was right — there’s no way in hell I can afford any of this stuff_. “You went on one camping trip in Brownies and told mom you wanted to do ballet instead.”

Queenie pretended to pout. “Can I help it if a raccoon got into our food in the middle of the night and then a thunderstorm came up? It was scary. Oooh….Teenie, look!” She held up a pair of khaki pants. “See? You can unzip ‘em at the knee and they turn into shorts. That’s handy!”

“Very,” Tina said drily, reaching for the tag. “They also cost twice what I make at Kowalski’s in a week.”

“What have I told you about being negative?” Queenie took her arm and steered her toward the back of the store. “Most stores have a clearance section if you know where to look. There — see?”

Sure enough, several racks sported red tags and the prices, while still higher than Tina would’ve liked, were much more reasonable.

*****

“And that last goal was just awesome!”

Tina and Queenie heard Jacob’s voice before they saw him striding toward the food court gesturing expansively with Newt at his side. Newt had his head cocked while he listened intently to his shorter friend, and he was nodding in agreement.

“Well, they look undamaged,” Queenie said, appraising both men with a critical eye from where she and Tina sat at a table. “No blood or bruises so Jake didn’t get into a fight this time.”

“And Newt hasn’t run away, so that’s good.” Tina smiled as Newt caught sight of them and an expression of relief washed over his face. “I think he was a little overwhelmed though.”

“He’s a good friend,” Queenie said, waving at her husband. “Did you guys have fun?”

Jacob looked around at the sea of bags surrounding the women’s chairs. “Did ya buy out the place? Yeah, it was great….sucks that we lost though.”

“What did you think of it?” Tina pulled Newt down into the chair beside her. When he reached for her drink and she swatted his hand away. “Get your own! We’ve been walking around all day.”

“We’ll get ‘em!” Jacob tugged Queenie to her feet and towards the Dunkin Donuts kiosk.

Newt leaned back and sighed, running a hand through his perpetually tousled hair. “I liked it! It was surprisingly violent though. Not as much as rugby, of course.”

Tina narrowed her eyes at him. “You didn’t get into anything? Or Jacob? He has before….”

“No, no.” Newt rubbed his left ear. “I didn’t know he could shout that loud, but nothing happened.”

“Oh good! Well, you’ve seen the Bruins, so I guess he’ll take you to a Patriots game in the fall,” Tina finished her Coke with a gurgle. “Gosh, I’m tired.”

He gave her a fond smile. “You’ve had a long day, love.”

“Have I told you how sexy your accent is, especially when you say ‘love’? It’s like it’s something exotic.” Tina giggled as Newt’s face turned bright red, and she leaned over to kiss his cheek. I love him so much.

“Aww….you two are sweet!” Queenie cooed setting fresh sodas before them both. “Ain’t they, Jake?”

“Yeah, absolutely revolting,” Jacob said cheerfully, as he dodged the napkin Newt threw at him.

“So, tell us all about the game!”

Tina caught Queenie’s wink and silently agreed. Better that Jacob get his enthusiasm out here in the noisy, crowded food court than in the more sedate restaurant where they planned to go for dinner.

“Oh, man, it was….” And Jacob was off with a detailed play-by-play of the match.

*****  
Tina reached a hand out for Newt but found his side of the bed cold. Blearily, she opened both eyes and picked up her phone from the nightstand. 6:20 — way too early for a Sunday morning. She waited five minutes, but when Newt didn’t return, she went in search of him.

She found him standing by one of the huge living room windows starting out at the moonlight on the river and the snowy landscape below with Pickett draped across his shoulders like a furry, grey scarf.

“Hey.” Tina wrapped an arm around his waist and rubbed Pickett’s head. “What’re you two doing up so early?”

“She wanted breakfast.” Newt set Pickett on her cat tree and pulled Tina into his arms. “And then I saw I had an email from Theseus….”

Tina knew Newt and his older brother were close, but they didn’t correspond very often, usually just a phone call once a month. “And….”

Newt let out a gusty sigh that fogged the window. “And he’s getting married in August.”

She turned to look up at him. “Really? Isn’t this a good thing?”

He shrugged. “It’s a long story.”

“Then I need coffee first. Come on.” She guided him into the kitchen and didn’t say anything more until they were curled up together on the couch, with mugs of their customary coffee and tea, the lamp on the side table turned low. “OK. Why is your brother getting married not a good thing?”

Newt took a sip of his drink, his expression unusually serious. "You haven't asked me about my past — other women and all that."

_What does that have to do with Theseus?_ She shrugged, trying to appear unconcerned by the change of subject, but her heart started beating fast. _Oh God, does Newt have an ex he's still talking to? Or maybe a kid back in Australia?_

Trying to keep her voice steady she said, "It's none of my business. As long as you don't have any diseases, I mean."

He smiled thinly. "No, you don't have to worry." Then, as if he'd read her mind. "And there's no one else in the picture now besides you." He dropped his head, unwilling to meet her eyes. One hand clenched and unclenched on the brightly colored afghan Mrs. Kowalski had given him for his birthday.

"But there was before?" she prompted. _He's hiding the way he did when we first met_. "Hey," she reached out and gently freed the afghan, clasping his hand in hers. "It's okay; I'm not going to hold old girlfriends against you. Promise."

"Her name was Leta. We first met when we were both eleven and my family had just moved to Australia the first time. Her parents worked at the embassy; her father was a diplomat or something. Anyway, I knew we weren't staying very long, so I didn't bother trying to make friends." He shrugged. "I mean, what's the point of putting yourself through that?"

Tina nudged him with an elbow. "Well, there are things called Skype and email, or even letters these days," she teased.

"Yeah, but the other kids thought I was weird from the get-go," he said with no trace of self-pity. "I was always talking about the inhabitants of coral reefs or the mating rituals of stingrays. And I hated being shut up at school all day."

She laughed. "You still do!"

"You would be too if you were in a new country and couldn't explore it! So there I was in like the second week, eating alone at lunch and not minding when Leta sits down beside me and introduces herself. And that was that. She wouldn't let me stay in my shell. In those days I was far from the confident individual you see before you."

Tina smiled at his attempt at humor, but by now she could tell when he was hurting. "What happened? I'm guessing you did stay in touch with her after you left?"

"Not very frequently, but yeah. We emailed a bit. When I saw her again...." He gave Tina a nervous glance as if not sure he should continue.

_We’re coming to it now._ She snuggled close against his side. “Go on…”

“It was three years ago. I was working with the rescue group full time, and she had a job at the embassy.”

“Because of her parents,” Tina nodded.

He shrugged. “Partly, but she had experience, too. Anyway, we reconnected and…” His eyes took on a faraway look. “It was like I saw her for the first time, and I realized how lonely I was. For some reason, I hadn’t noticed until then.”

Tina stamped hard on the seed of jealousy trying to take root in her heart. _He said she’s not a part of his life anymore. Just let him talk._

“Well, I won’t go into details but, we were very close for a couple of years. We were both lonely and misunderstood by our families — her more than me — and got very wrapped up in each other. I didn’t realize until after it was over that it was a very codependent relationship and not a healthy one.”

"So have you spoken to her since you broke up?"

Newt gave a humorless smile. "I suppose I’ll have to since she's going to be my sister-in-law now."

Tina nearly dropped her mug, sloshing hot coffee over her hand. “Ow! What? You mean she left you for Theseus?”

“Are you okay?” He jumped up to grab some napkins. “Yeah, basically.” He wiped off her hands gently. “I don’t think it was deliberate. I mean, I don’t think she was sleeping with me and looking at him. But I think she did notice him more and broke up with me before it got worse.” His face twisted with remembered pain.

“God, Newt. I’m sorry. That must’ve hurt like a bitch.” Ignoring the lingering ache, Tina put the now-dry hand to his cheek. “No wonder you’re upset.”

He turned his head to kiss her palm. “Hmmm….You taste like coffee. I’ll deal with it. But this is why I’ve been so careful not to push you. I know you have the pills now, but we don’t have to do anything until you’re ready. Not that I’m not looking forward to it,” he added hastily obviously thinking she might take offense. “I just meant….”

Tina had learned that kissing Newt was a good way to quiet him when he started to babble, so she did it now. He tasted of tea and milk. “Hush. I know what you meant. You’re not like any man I’ve ever met, Newt Scamander.”

He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “So does that mean you’ll come to the wedding with me? Please do. Theseus wants me to be his Best Man, and all of Dad’s stuffy London relatives will be there to look down their noses at me. If you come too, they’ll be so busy admiring your beauty, they won’t pay me any mind.”

She smiled. “Flatterer! I guess….If you talk me into it.”

Newt drained his cup and set it on the table. “Seeing as it’s still early, why don’t we go back to bed so I can do that?”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here be some smut. It's pretty tame, but just FYI. Thanks to @Treagus for beta reading and for reminding me that a just-out-of-hibernation mama bear is not something you want to be anywhere near and suggesting a lynx instead. 
> 
> The next two - and for now last - chapters of Parabolas are written and will be up soon. I know it's been a long time between updates, but your comments helped push me to continue.

Tina glared at the shiny, new padlock on the gate that blocked the gravel service road in front of them. 

“Wonderful. We come all this way and we can’t get to the top. I told you we should’ve stayed on the main trail.” Her hiking boots squelched with every step, and her entire right side was muddy from when a rock had come loose and sent her sliding back down the steep path. 

_ This was supposed to be fun, but so far it’s just chilly and wet. Well, being with Newt is fun, but we could at least do it somewhere warm and dry. _ She took off her backpack so she could untie his green flannel shirt from around her waist and put it on.

“Sure we can! We’re just taking a shortcut.” Newt shrugged out of his own backpack frame and lowered it carefully over the gate before climbing up. His pants, like hers, were wet to the knees. 

_ Does he not get cold at all? _ Before they’d gone a half-mile, he had relinquished his outer shirt to her and pushed up the sleeves of his Henley. _ No wonder he wanted to go ice sailing on the harbor.  _

“Newt, the road’s closed for a reason.” She swung her arms, glad to be rid of the uncomfortable frame for a minute. It wasn’t heavy, they were going for just two nights after all, but it was awkward and didn’t fit her right. 

He grinned at her from his perch on top of the gate, one long leg on either side. “Because you can’t get a vehicle up here in the winter. But it’s May and there’s no snow now. They’ll open this road next week - we’re just a smidge early.” He jumped down and gestured at her through the bars. “Give me your pack.” 

Sighing, she hoisted it to him and climbed over the gate. “You’re going to get us arrested one of these days, you know that? Then I’ll never get into law school.” 

He kissed the tip of her nose, completely unrepentant. “You know you love it.” 

She huffed, but couldn’t help smiling. She’d had reservations about this trip when he’d first proposed it back in the winter. But now that she was actually here on the side of Mount Greylock, she realized how much she had needed the break. 

Newt unfolded the map — no cell service up here — and consulted it. “Okay. It looks like it’s just another mile to our campsite. And you’ll be glad to know we’ll be on this road the whole way. No more mud.” 

“Wait, let me change my socks first.” Digging into her pack for a wet/dry pouch, she unzipped her pants at the knee and pulled off the damp fabric before finding a fresh pair of wool socks. Feet dry and no longer quite so muddy, Tina shouldered her pack again and fell in step beside Newt. “I hope the view is worth it.” 

He grinned, eyes constantly scanning the road and the dense foliage to either side. “It will be! Remember those pics we looked at on the website? And tonight will be clear with no moon, great stargazing weather.” 

Tina felt herself relaxing more the higher they went. She’d gotten out of shape over the winter, and parts of the hike had taken every ounce of her concentration. Definitely not the same as running on flat pavement. Even cross country didn’t involve climbing. Now, with the road steadily rising but relatively smooth, she could take everything in as the day slowly warmed.  

The woods hummed with the energy of spring, alive with birds, animals, and scents Tina didn’t know the names of. She took deep breaths of the clean, fresh air and let Newt’s chatter wash over her. Once the date of their expedition had been decided upon, he’d thrown himself into researching the flora and fauna of the Berkshires.

“Do you hear that? I think it’s a white-throated sparrow. It sounds just like in the video! I wonder if we’ll see a Bicknell’s Thrush; they’re incredibly rare…” 

He broke off mid-sentence, stopping so suddenly that Tina, who had fallen a few steps behind, nearly smashed her nose on his backpack. 

“Newt? What’re you —?” She tried to move around him, but he put out an arm to block her way. 

His reply was so quiet she had to strain to hear it. “Don’t move or make a noise.” 

Peering cautiously over his shoulder, Tina watched, hardly breathing, as a sand-colored cat, speckled with black spots eased across the road about fifty yards in front of them. When it had disappeared into the trees, Newt remained still.

“See them?” he whispered. 

It took three tries before she finally noticed the two smaller shapes inching toward the road. One by one, the kittens poked their heads out of the underbrush and waddled across the open space toward where their mother was surely waiting. 

After another couple of minutes, Newt relaxed. “I think it’s okay now,” he said, keeping his voice low. “It’s not much further to the campsites. If there’s a ranger around, I’ll let them know.” 

“Was that a bobcat? I wish I’d gotten a picture to show Queenie and Jacob.” Tina’s whole body was vibrating with adrenaline.

“I think it might have been a lynx. We can go ask her for a selfie if you want,” Newt suggested with a cheeky grin. “She might let you cuddle the babies if you ask nicely.” 

Tina shivered. “I think I’ll pass, thanks.”

Their campsite was one of the first right off of the original trail. Checking the map, Tina was pleased to note it wasn’t far from the bathrooms — but thankfully upwind — and the ranger station. She looked around for other hikers, but the area seemed deserted. 

As they set down their packs, Newt said, “I’ll go tell the ranger about that lynx - it’s very rare to see them during the day - and get us some wood for tonight.” 

“Okay. I’ll start sorting things out.” 

The site had a level, grassy area perfect for the two-person tent Newt had borrowed, a picnic table, fire ring made with blackened stones, and a brown metal box elevated on four legs. Investigating, Tina discovered it was a bear box. A sign on the front instructed campers to lock up all food and toiletries. The thought of a hungry mother bear just out of hibernation made Tina’s skin crawl. 

She was nearly done emptying their packs when Newt returned with a load of firewood. He dumped it near the firepit and wiped an arm across his face. “The ranger said that mama and her kittens have been hanging around all week. A big group that left early this morning heard them last night. He said they’re probably hungry, but they’re too skittish of people to be much of a danger.” 

Tina cast a worried glance at all their food arranged on the picnic table waiting to be put away.

“You and I are the only ones here this weekend, as it turns out. As long as we keep everything locked up when we aren’t using it, even while we're in camp, we should be fine.” 

“So we’ll have privacy,” she said as she gathered up the loaf of bread and a bag of chips. “That’s good.” 

Newt paused in unfolding the tent to smile at her. “Yeah. It’ll be nice. I thought we could take the telescope when we go have dinner at the lodge..” 

“I’d like that.” She made a face. “I’m glad I brought some nice clothes. I must look a fright with all this mud.” 

"You're gorgeous," he said with complete honesty

She leaned down and kissed him, feeling tears prickle in her eyes. "Thank you...." Before things could get too heated, she straightened reluctantly. “Let’s get that tent set up before a bear decides to pay us a visit.” 

The domed tent proved to be surprisingly roomy with plenty of space for the air mattress Newt had also borrowed. 

“These things are dreadfully expensive,” he said as they zipped their sleeping bags together on top of it. “Not to mention heavy.” 

“It’ll be worth it. I’ll tell Mark thanks when we take it back.” Mark was one of Newt’s coworkers at the barn and an avid outdoorsman. 

Newt smirked. “Give him a kiss; he’d like that. He’s a bit of a crush on you, you know.” 

“He does not!” Tina shoved him and he collapsed dramatically on the mattress. She lunged for his vulnerable ribs and he retaliated in kind, quickly finding all her ticklish spots.

Wheezing with laughter, Newt wrapped his arms around her and they lay still, catching their breath. “He does though.” 

Tina laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart pound. “So, did you assert your dominance with a mating dance?” 

He chuckled. “I didn’t go that far, but I made it quite clear that you’re mine and he just has to sigh from a distance.” 

She blushed. “So does that mean you’re mine, too?” 

He ran a hand over her hair. “If you want me to be.”

She pretended to think about it while pressing tiny kisses to the freckled skin just above his shirt collar. “I guess I could live with that.” Propping herself up, she continued kissing up his jaw until she reached his mouth. “Poor Mark will just have to find someone else.” 

This time, the kiss went on quite a bit longer before they separated, breathing hard. “If we’re not careful, we’ll end up staying here all day,” Newt panted. 

“I wouldn’t mind,” Tina said honestly. “But we really should put all the food up before all the forest creatures decide they want to share our lunch.” 

“Bugger! I forgot about that!” With another quick kiss, he helped her sit up. “We’ll continue this later tonight.”

Pre-made sandwiches eaten and the rest of their things safely locked away, they refilled their water bottles and set out to explore the area around the campsite. A nearby rocky overlook showed miles and miles of unbroken green hills. 

The ranger, a cheerful, portly man who reminded Tina very much of an older Jacob, told them about a nearby waterfall which Newt found by the simple expedient of falling into it.

“Newt!” Tina sidled carefully up to the edge where he’d dropped out of sight, testing every step before she shifted her weight. 

“I’m fine!” To her relief, he was standing in a small pool about eight feet below. “Be careful. The rocks are slippery.”  _ That’s my Newt - master of understatement _ . Tina shook her head and began looking for a safer way down. 

By the time she’d picked her way over, he had extricated himself, completely drenched and shivering violently. “Blimey, that water’s cold!” 

“You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Tina scolded. “Come on, let’s get you back to camp. You did bring extra clothes, I hope?”

He grinned at her, lips tinged blue. “Of course. Are you going to help me dry off?” 

“Not a chance, buster.” 

She left him pouting like a little boy, to dry off and change at the tent while she freshened up at the bathrooms. A quick shower washed off the mud and sweat. She dressed in a flowing black skirt, pink and red floral blouse and black flats and twisted her hair into a knot on the back of her head. Garnet lipstick borrowed from Queenie completed the look. 

Feeling much better, she returned to the campsite to find Newt waiting for her. Like her, he’d tidied up as best he could, and his still damp hair wasn’t as riotously curly as usual. 

“Tina, you look lovely.” 

She appraised him from head to toe, taking in his button-down shirt and neat slacks. “Thanks. You clean up pretty well yourself. Oh, hang on.” She ducked into the tent and came out with a black crepe wrap Queenie had loaned her. 

“Good idea,” Newt said approvingly. “It’s bound to get chilly after dark.” 

As they started up the road to the summit, hand-in-hand, the sun was an orange-red ball low in the sky, painting the lower hills in alternating light and shadow. Newt carried the telescope and gave her the large black flashlight. “We’ll need that coming back.” 

“How fancy is this place?” Tina asked while they stopped to admire the view. 

“Not to worry. They see everything from locals who just want to have a nice dinner to thru-hikers on the Appalachian Trail.” Newt grinned over at her. “I asked when I made the reservations.” 

“You did?” His innate kindness shouldn’t surprise her so much by now, but it still did.

“Of course. I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

She felt a blush heating her cheeks. “You spoil me, you know that?” 

“You deserve it.” 

The lodge was impressive, but in a homey, comfortable sort of way, with vaulted ceilings and honey-gold wood floors. An alcove off the lobby held lockers where they left the telescope and flashlight. At Newt’s request, the waiter seated them at an intimate table for two by a window. The only other diners were a large group of hikers on the other side of the dining room.

The menu was a set one, so they didn’t have to wait long for their food. Tina tried to take it all in to tell Queenie later, but Newt’s proximity pushed everything else out of her mind. 

She glanced at him between sips of her French onion soup. His green shirt brought out the same color in his eyes, and the dim lighting threw shadows on his high cheekbones. 

When Tina looked up again after buttering a roll, she found Newt watching her with a hungry expression that she recognized. She swallowed hard and reached for her water glass to wet her suddenly dry mouth. 

Newt gave her a knowing smile. “I meant to tell you — I got another email from Theseus the other day.” 

Tina took a bite of her grilled shrimp. “Oh? What did he want?” She wasn’t sure how she felt about Newt’s brother — especially since the man was marrying someone Newt had once been in love with. 

“He asked me a bunch of questions about you. He’s terribly curious since I told him you were coming with me to the wedding.” 

At the reminder, Tina’s stomach twisted uncomfortably. She’d agreed to make the trip to Australia without considering the cost of a flight to the other side of the world. _ It’s winter there in August; maybe it will be cheaper? Don’t think about that now _ . “And what did you tell him?” 

“I said you’re strong and brave, and you don’t know the meaning of the word fear. And you’re patient — so patient. I mean, you’d have to be to put up with me, wouldn't you?” He gave a self-deprecating shrug. “And smart."

“Newt…” Tina pressed her palms to her glowing face. “You didn’t say all that. Please tell me you didn’t.” 

“And then he wanted to know what you look like,” Newt went on relentlessly as he lowered his voice so only she could hear. “I told him you’ve got dark hair, softer than a raven's wing. Your eyes are dark too -- not British dark, which are like mud, but as dark as the night sky. Your skin is very fair and you don't have a single freckle. And you’re almost as tall as I am, and quite trim."

Tina was seriously considering sliding under the table by the time he was done talking. “Oh, God, you make me sound like some kind of model or something.”

Newt must have sensed her desire to bolt because he reached over and took her hand yet again. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, but it’s all true.” 

“I just ...I can’t believe you see me that way.” 

Before he could reply, the waiter approached and asked if they wanted dessert. When the man had left, Newt changed the subject, regaling her with stories of the years his family had spent in Japan. But the look in his eyes told Tina that the topic wasn’t forgotten.

They lingered over pie and coffee as the sky outside gradually darkened. At last, Tina set down her fork. “I guess it’s dark enough now, do you think?” 

Newt drained the rest of his coffee, lean throat working. Tina pressed her thighs together and tried not to squirm “Yes, I suppose so.” But he was looking at her instead of out the window. 

Newt paid for their meal and ushered her back to the lobby with a warm hand on the small of her back. 

As they retrieved the telescope, the attendant asked, "Are you folks looking for a place to use that?” 

"Yes, we are," Newt said, stepping aside to let a group new arrivals leave their backpacks. 

"When you get to the parking lot take a right — there's a path that leads to an overlook with a few benches that's out of the lights." 

"Thanks, we'll do that.”

They found the path easily at the head of the parking lot. Tasteful, subdued lighting guided them along the lodge’s bulk to a wide, grassy area lined with stone benches. 

Tina supposed that during the day, the location would give an impressive panorama of the surrounding countryside. Now though, with the lights hidden from view, the sky, not the land, took prominence.

“Wow.” Newt’s voice was hushed as if he was afraid to disturb the panorama stretched out before them. “We almost don’t need the telescope.” 

“No,” Tina breathed. “It’s gorgeous.” Innumerable stars spilled across the heavens like diamonds on a velvet cloth. “I couldn’t begin to find anything specific.”

“Well, aside from the moon,” Newt quipped. 

He unfolded the tripod and she helped him find a flat place to set it up, near a secluded bench backed by evergreens. “The darker the better for our night vision,” he said, making careful adjustments to the angle. “Take a look.” He stepped away so Tina could look through the eyepiece. “See it?” 

“Hang on….” She gave the focus knob a slight turn and the blurry view cleared up. “Yes! Is that orange one Arcturus?”

“I think so. And directly overhead is Leo.” 

For the next fifteen minutes, they took turns pointing out various celestial bodies they remembered - or thought they remembered from their astronomy class. 

Finally, Tina sank down on the bench. “Just giving my neck a break.”

Newt looked for a bit longer before collapsing the tripod and laying the scope carefully beside the bench before he joined her. 

“It’s so beautiful.” 

“Did you know that on a really dark night, if you have very good eyesight you can only see about 2,000 stars?” Newt’s head was canted back as he gazed upward. “And all of those stars are bigger than our sun.”

Tina turned to look at him. In the shadow from the trees, all she could make out was his profile: forehead, nose, chin, pale skin tapering off as if he was only half present. He started to say something else, but she put out an equally pale hand and gently turned his head so her lips met his. 

It felt like a spark passed between them and the kiss moved from sweet to torrid before Tina could think. Newt wrapped his arms around her and she buried her hands in his hair, unwilling to be separated from him even to breathe. 

With a groan, Newt wrenched himself away. “Back to the campsite,” he panted.

Tina darted in again and swallowed whatever else he’d been about to say. “We’d…have to walk…all that way.” She punctuated her words with tiny kisses and nips of her teeth along his sharp jawbone. 

“But we…” Newt gasped as her chilly fingers slid inside the open neck of his shirt. “Shit, your hands are cold!” He captured them in his own larger ones as they laughed together.

‘You can warm me up,” Tina whispered, shifting her attention to his neck. She shifted on the hard stone bench as desire, still new and exciting, flooded her.

Newt growled and pulled her onto his lap. One hand steadied her while the other unfastened the clip in her hair letting it cascade down across her shoulders. His lips found her collarbone and moved lower. “Back now. Can’t stay here ...Someone might see.” He raised his head and she caught the reflection of his eyes in the dark. “Or hear us.” 

The idea made Tina shiver, and not from cold this time. She felt an unaccustomed recklessness. “I don’t care,” she mumbled, barely able to remember how to form words. “Need you…” She stood up before Newt could react and yanked at her skirt, trying to pull it up, but the long fabric was tangled around her legs. 

“Tina, stop.” Newt rose and gathered her back into his arms. “Calm down, love. Are you sure about this?” 

She was glad to hear that he sounded just as shaken as she did. “Yes, I’m sure. Newt, please!” 

He made a low, hungry noise in the back of his throat and bent his head to kiss her hard. “Come here then.” He guided her to the end of the bench closest to the trees where the shadows were darkest. Sitting down, he drew Tina close, both hands coming up to cup her breasts through her blouse. “Too cold to take this off. Remind me later.” 

“You said….” Why is it so hard to think? “You were going to keep me warm?” Tina braced herself on Newt’s shoulders as his hands moved down to her skirt. With a tug, it was around her waist and she gasped at the cold rush of air on her bare skin.

Newt’s breathing quickened. “No underwear, Miss Goldstein? You were being optimistic, weren’t you?” 

Her smirk turned to a gasp as his warm palms swept from her knees, up the backs of the thighs and higher. “I was hoping. Newt….” She whined. 

He stroked her curves and let the folds of her skirt back down. “So smooth.” He drew her toward him so she had to straddle his legs to keep her balance. “Little chilly though. We’d best get on with it before we both freeze.” 

Tina lowered herself into his lap and reached for his belt. He hissed as she took him out, wrapping both hands around his length. “Sorry.” She sprinkled kisses over his cheeks until she could take his earlobe between her teeth. “I get to warm you this time.” 

Biting her lip, she lined him up and sank down. This wasn’t their first time coming together like this, but the position was novel, and she had to stop almost at once and clutch at Newt’s shoulders for support. 

He made an interrogative noise against her collarbone. “You okay, love?” 

“Yes.” She essayed another cautious inch before stopping again with a hiss. “You feel big this way.” 

“Jesus, Tina. That doesn’t help.” Newt’s hands clutched her hips so hard she knew she would have bruises in the morning but right now she didn’t care. 

When she was completely seated, she wrapped her arms around him and took a minute just to breathe in the mingled scents of pine, fir and Newt’s own leather and hay scent. 

“Okay now?” He smoothed a few escaped strands of Tina’s hair back from her face tenderly. 

She wriggled a bit, getting more comfortable. “I think so. What about you?” 

He groaned at her actions. “Fine, but if you move I can’t be responsible for the consequences,” he said, sounding a bit strangled.

They laughed quietly together before she bent her head to kiss him. “But if I don’t move, we’ll have to stay like this all night. They’ll find us in the morning frozen solid.” 

“That would be an interesting sculpture.” Newt blew out his breath. “Let’s try this, shall we?” 

Tensing her thighs, Tina pushed herself up until he was barely inside her, before sinking down again and making them both groan. “Oh, that’s good….” 

“Very.” His grip relaxed slightly as she rose and fell again. “You’re so tight like this.” He brought his mouth to hers again in a hungry kiss. “Can you go faster? Maybe a canter instead of a trot?” 

Tina giggled at the mental image. “I’m never gonna be able to get on a horse again after riding you.” 

His laugh turned into a moan as she gave a particularly hard jolt. “I did say you have a very nice seat,” he gave the anatomy in question a squeeze. “Very ...toned.” He thrust in counterpoint, making her gasp. 

“Oh, right there.” She adjusted her position, leaning forward slightly trying to recapture the sudden burst of pleasure. “Do that again.” 

He did and this time it felt even better. “Don’t stop! Just…right there.” She knew she was babbling but she didn’t care. She let her head fall back and stared up at the endless expanse above them. It felt as if there was nothing in the world right now but the two of them amid a sea of stars.

Newt went stiff against her, and Tina started in surprise as he pulled her head down close to his. “Someone’s coming.” 

Stifling the wild urge to laugh at the unintended double meaning, Tina realized she could hear people on the path from the lodge rapidly moving closer. She made out at least three different voices all sounding as if they’d had too much wine with dinner. Her heart leaped and she made to move off of Newt. 

“Wait.” Moving silently but quickly, Newt pulled off Tina’s black crepe shawl and threw it over both of them. His breath was hot in her ear as he said in the barest whisper. “If we stay perfectly still, they might not see us.” 

Tina pressed her face to the side of his neck and tried to quiet her breathing. Every noise seemed magnified a thousand times: the breeze in the branches of the tree behind them, the group’s footsteps on the gravel path, the bounding throb of Newt’s pulse beneath her lips. With a naughty thrill, she pressed her lips to the spot and gave it a tiny lick for good measure. 

Beneath her, Newt jerked and Tina was reminded of the part of him sunk deep inside her. “Minx,” he hissed. “Two can play that game.” Moving very slowly so he didn’t dislodge the shawl hiding them from prying eyes, Newt slid his right hand from her hip to where they were joined. His thumb found her clit and began to rub it in slow, relentless circles.

“Newt….” She wanted to move so badly. A fine tremor shook her whole body and she tensed every muscle trying in vain to stop it. 

“Let go.” Newt’s voice was so low she almost couldn’t hear him. “I’ll catch you.”  

His thumb dipped lower to gather some of her moisture and flicked over the exposed bundle of nerves. The direct contact was too much. Tina buried her face in Newt’s shoulder and bit down to contain the cries that wanted to escape while she spasmed around him. She felt more than heard his grunt as his release filled her. 

“What say we head back down?” 

“Sounds good to me - it’s getting cold out here.” 

The voices receded as the group walked back towards the parking lot. Tina listened in a drowsy stupor, too warm and sleepy to move. At last, Newt stirred and pressed a kiss to her jaw before pulling the shawl off of them. 

“That was….” He sounded totally wrecked. 

Tina took big gulps of the fresh air, beginning to shiver as the sweat dried on her exposed skin. “Wasn’t it?” 

Newt frowned and rubbed her arms. “We’d better go back too or we really will freeze. Can you stand up?” 

“I’m not sure!” As he steadied her, she eased off of him wincing a little at the strain from overextended muscles. She touches his shoulder gently where the imprint of her lipstick has stained the fabric. “Sorry. I didn’t hurt you did I?” 

He tucked himself away and did up his pants before standing to kiss her. “Not at all. I like when you’re feisty, actually.” He wrapped the shawl around her. “When we get back to the tent, you can kiss it and make it better if you want.” 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So before we start I want to say that these last two chapters - 8 and 9 - deal with some heavy, controversial issues. If, after looking at the updated tags, you choose not to read them I'm cool with that. You can consider the story complete after chapter 7. I'm not saying I won't continue it at some point, but for right now it's done. 
> 
> You'll notice a slight time skip between the end of 7 and the start of this chapter. That is for reasons which shall become clear. :)

Tina woke to the sound of the door closing behind Seraphina. She groaned as the noise echoed inside her throbbing head and buried her face in the pillow. She’d been dreaming — again — about the weekend she’d spent with Newt on Mt. Greylock and her body hummed with frustrated arousal. 

_ Just one more week _ , she reminded herself, resisting the impulse to lounge in bed so she could take care of the problem.  _ Just one more exam and then we’ll have the whole summer free. _ Her mind filled with images of Newt, dripping wet from a tumble into a mountain stream, his clinging shirt revealing the muscles beneath. 

With a whine, Tina forced herself to sit up and instantly regretted it. While the headache eased slightly, a wave of nausea swept over her. She clapped a hand to her mouth and fought it down. After a moment, it subsided and she took a deep breath. “Must be the flu. Just my luck I’d get it this week.” 

Her phone chirped and she picked it up to see a text from Newt. She arranged the pillow behind her back and tapped the icon.

**NewtTheSalamander:** Morning! Feeling any better?

She considered telling him the truth: “No, I feel like shit.” and changed her mind. He’d just worry about her instead of focusing on his finals. When asked, Newt swore he never worried, but Tina knew better. He was just very good at hiding it.

**ShakespeareanPorcupine819:** Think so. Just woke up. 

**NewtTheSalamander:** Running a bit late arent you?

Alarmed, she glanced at the time at the top of the screen. Ten thirty. He was right. She was usually up much earlier than this. Good thing she didn’t have an exam today. 

**ShakespeareanPorcupine819:** Yeah but I was dreaming bout you.

**NewtTheSalamander:** Oh yeah? What dream?

**ShakespeareanPorcupine819:** The Bench

Yes, The Bench, with capital letters. Again, the sense memory washed over her: Chilly night air on her bare thighs, Newt’s warmth beneath and inside her, the thrill of near-discovery when a group of hikers had almost stumbled upon their hidden tryst. 

**NewtTheSalamander:** I've dreamed about that too. ;) We’ll have to do it again sometime. What about an early dinner tonight? I should be done by 4.

Tina’s nausea returned at the thought of food, but she replied:

**ShakespeareanPorcupine819:** Sure. Good luck today. Love you.

**NewtTheSalamander:** Thanks. Luv u 2. 

Rolling her eyes in exasperated affection, Tina laid down her phone and contemplated staying in bed all day. 

“Come on lazybones. Get through this week and you can sleep all day if you want.” Or at least until August when she and Newt would fly to the other side of the world for his brother’s wedding. Groaning, she stood up, swaying as a wave of dizziness hit her. 

“Woah, I guess I need some coffee.” She stumbled around half-packed cardboard boxes — I  _ hope we remembered to label them all, otherwise, Seraphina and I will leave with each other’s stuff _ —  to the red Keurig machine on its table under the window. She chose a K-cup at random and reached for her mug, the teal one with the smiling face shaped into the side. Seraphina said it was creepy, but something in the quirky expression reminded Tina of Newt. 

The rich smell of toffee and almonds filled the air and she took an appreciative sniff. She doctored the dark liquid with her usual Splenda, milk, and creamer. Sighing happily, she took a large gulp — and nearly spit the drink back out. 

“Ugh!” She forced herself to swallow and set the cup down, wrinkling her nose. “Guess the milk must be off.” She gave the carton a cautious sniff, but it didn’t smell sour. Gingerly, she took a tiny sip from her cup. This time, she did spit it out into the sink. “Crap. Maybe I’ll try some tea instead.” 

She found the box of PG Tips that Newt had given her and rinsed her mug before dropping a bag into it. She added hot water from the Keurig and set the cup aside to steep for five minutes as Newt had taught her. While she waited, she washed her face hoping it might make her feel better. 

“You look like crap, girl,” she told her reflection in the mirror over the sink. Her skin was pasty, and her eyes had dark circles. She rummaged in a drawer looking for her thermometer, but couldn’t find it. She contemplated getting dressed and visiting the medical center and rejected the idea at once. 

“I’ll just drink my tea and go back to bed for the day.” As she added a bit of milk to the cup, a cramp seized her lower belly. “Great — the flu and time of the month! How’d I get so lucky?” She found the Midol and took two. 

To her great relief, the tea went down much easier than the coffee had although it still tasted slightly off. Definitely the milk. When she’d drained it, she set the mug in the sink and crawled back under her covers.  _ Hope I’ll feel like meeting Newt for dinner… _

Her phone woke her from a deep sleep. She reached for it groggily, dimly aware that she felt even worse than before. “Hey, Queenie.” 

“I’m outside; come let me in.” Her sister’s voice was unusually sharp. 

“What?” Tina forced herself to focus. “What’re you doing here? Is something wrong?” She threw back the covers and stood up, head swimming. 

Queenie ignored the question. “Is Seraphina there?” 

Tina stepped out into the hall, wincing as the bright lights made her head throb worse than ever. “No, she had a class.” In the lobby, she found Queenie pacing in agitation. 

“Come on!” Queenie grabbed her arm and towed her back down the hall. 

“What’s going on? Queenie?” Tina found herself struggling to keep up with her shorter sister — a new experience. 

“Not here!” 

When they were in the room with the door locked, Queenie charged over to Tina’s laptop and not even bothering to sit down, typed something into the web browser. Breathing hard, she stepped back. “Read that.” 

With a growing sense of alarm, Tina skimmed the article. “Birth control pill recall….order reversed….chance of unwanted pregnancy….”  _ Oh no, oh no, oh no….. _

Jumping up, she pushed past Queenie to the drawer where she and Seraphina pooled their stash of Pamprin, Advil and Tylenol. She snatched up the cardboard folder with her pills and flipped it open to check the lot number. Her hands shook so badly she dropped it.

Queenie picked it up and did it for her. “It’s the same,” she whispered. “Here…” She dug into her purse and pulled out a pink box. “You said you haven’t been feeling well, so I thought you’d better check. It’s one of mine — you know Jake and I have been trying….”

Numbly, Tina took the box and tried to read the instructions, but the tiny print swam in front of her eyes. I can’t be. I can’t be.  

She was barely aware of Queenie taking her arm again and steering her toward the bathroom. “We’ll just check right quick. It’s such a tiny chance. I’m sure everything’s fine,” she said with an attempt at cheerfulness. 

Tina barely heard her over the roaring in her ears.  _ Calm down _ , she told herself sternly. T _ here’s no sense borrowing trouble before you have to. _ She took a few deep breaths and made herself listen as Queenie told her what to do through the stall door. 

She rested the little stick on the edge of the sink while she washed her hands. Queenie set the timer on her phone and they both stood in silence, waiting. 

“Do you want me to look?” 

Tina took a deep breath. “No, I’ll — I’ll do it.” With shaking fingers she raised the tester to eye level and stared at the two blue lines. The world swayed on its axis, and she heard Queenie’s voice calling her name. She sounded distant — as if Tina’s ears were stuffed with cotton. She tried to say something, but her mouth refused to work properly. Dimly, she realized she had slid down the wall and was sitting on the not-very-clean floor. 

“Teenie? Teenie?” 

She watched as Queenie grabbed a handful of paper towels and wet them under the faucet. She knelt in front of Tina and wiped her face. The cold water felt good.  _ Why am I sweating? _ As her mind cleared, panic returned in full force. 

“It can’t be right! I just have the flu. I haven’t been eating all that great. And my period — I’ve been cramping, so I took something for it. When it starts working, I’ll feel better.” She knew she was babbling, but she couldn’t stop. I can’t be pregnant - I can’t. Maybe the test is defective. 

Queenie shook her gently. “What did you take and when?” The sharpness was back in her voice, and some part of Tina was surprised her sweet little sister could sound so stern.

“Just a couple of Midol right before you got here. Why?” She struggled to her feet and Queenie steadied her. 

“Because it can really hurt the baby, taking stuff like that.” 

Tina clung to the sink while she fought the sudden rise of her gorge. “Well, I didn’t know did I?” she snapped. With a moan, she dived for the stall and emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

“Well, that takes care of that,” Queenie muttered as she helped Tina back over to the sink so she could rinse out her mouth. “Why don’t you get dressed and we’ll go over to the clinic? They can do a blood test and make absolutely sure.” 

An hour later, Tina sat in an exam room crying bitterly while Queenie tried to comfort her. “Do you want me to call Newt?” She pressed another tissue into Tina’s hand. 

Tina scrubbed at her streaming eyes and shook her head. “No, he’s got two exams today. We’re supposed to have dinner tonight.”  _ And I have no idea how to tell him or what he’ll think.  _

“Come home with me,” Queenie suggested. “Then you can tell Newt to meet you there and tell him tonight. Would that work?” 

“No…” Tina shook her head frantically. “I don’t want….”

Queenie hugged her, tissues and all. “This isn’t your fault and you didn’t do anything wrong. You were trying to do the right thing.” 

Tina clung to her and managed a shaky laugh when Queenie added, “And you’re gonna sue the shit out of the company and get enough money to send your kid to an Ivy League school.” 

“How can I keep it, Queenie?” Tina put a hand over her still flat stomach, unable to believe she was growing another human being. 

“Shhh….You don’t have to decide this minute.” Queenie managed a smile. It was shaky but it made Tina feel a tiny bit better. “And don’t worry about Mama and Papa Kowalski. You know they’ll be on your side.” 

Tina tossed the wadded up tissues in the trash can and slid down from the table. “Papa will rage about the pills and the ‘imbeciles’ responsible.”

“And Mama will spend days in the kitchen trying to figure out what you can stand to eat now.” 

Sure enough, when Tina explained what had happened — blushing with embarrassment — Mrs. Kowalski sat her down at the old kitchen table with a cup of herbal tea strong with the bite of ginger and a cookie very like the ones Newt favored. “This is a special blend good for sickness.” She pressed a kiss to the top of Tina’s head. “You need feeding up if you are eating for two now!” 

“Thank you.” Tina sipped the tea, which did settle her stomach, and nibbled at the cookie. Queenie was busy explaining to Mr. Kowalski how the pills had been mispackaged. 

He looked confused. “How can such a thing happen? They are playing with people’s lives by doing such a thing!”

Tina felt the panic rise up again like a dark wave that threatened to drown her. “Excuse me.” She pushed back her chair and left the kitchen. She went down the hall and onto the back porch which was warm and crowded with plants and flowers that all benefited from Mrs. Kowalski’s devoted attention. She sat down in the white wooden swing and took out her phone. She was surprised to see it was nearly 2 p.m.

**ShakespeareanPorcupine819:** One down, one to go, right? You’ll ace them both. The Kowalskis invited us both for dinner. I’m there now — Queenie picked me up. So come on over when you get done. Love you!

_ How in the world do I tell him? Hey Newt, remember our camping trip and that incident on the bench? Well, I brought back a little souvenir.  _

Some unknown time later, the door creaked and Jacob peeked out. Tina smiled to show him it was alright, and he joined her, the swing sinking a bit under his weight. He wore a Kowalski’s shirt and she realized he had probably come straight from the bakery on his lunch break. 

“Queenie told me. I hope that was okay?” 

Tina blinked back yet more tears. _ That’s Jake for you — he’s so thoughtful. _ “Of course it was. You’re family, Jake.” 

He reached over and took her hand in his larger one, squeezing tightly. “I’m sorry. You’ve been through enough without this, too.” 

“I think I’m still in shock. It just doesn’t seem real.” 

“You told Newt yet?” 

She sighed. “No. He’s coming for dinner. Queenie thinks I should tell him then.”

Jacob nodded. “I guess that would be better than telling him by text or on the phone. Still….” 

“Yeah. I…” She hesitated. “I’m not sure how he’s going to take it.”  _ What if he leaves? Just breaks things off and never speaks to me again?  _

“He loves you; any fool can see that. He won’t run away if that’s what you’re worried about. He’ll be shocked….I mean, who wouldn't be? But he’ll stay with ya.” 

Tina wished she could believe him.  _ Right now all I want to do is run, so I wouldn’t blame Newt if he did. And it’s not even his body going through it. _

They sat in silence for a while before the door creaked a second time and Queenie came out to join them. She carried a tray with mugs and plates of pastries. To Tina's great relief, the scents did not immediately trigger her gag reflex. 

Queenie set her burden on a table and handed around the cups and plates. "Hot chocolate," she said, giving Tina a smile. "I figured you could use it. You know Mom used to say chocolate always makes things better." She settled on Tina's other side with her own mug and a cream cheese danish.

Cautiously, Tina essayed a sip and sighed when the drink tasted just as it should. "Thanks, but I don't think anything could make this better." 

Queenie's smile faded and she shared a glance with Jacob. "You know we'll all help you as much as we can, Teenie. You won't be doing this alone." 

Tina broke off a corner of her apple fritter and nibbled it. “I thought everything was going so great: you two are married, I'm in college, Newt and I are together…..Since December, everything's been going so well. I guess I should've known it wouldn't last.”

Queenie had no reply to that. She leaned her head on Tina's shoulder, and Jacob wrapped an arm around her from the other side. Held between them, Tina felt no comfort, only black despair at the ruin of her hopes and plans. 

When they finally stirred themselves to go back inside, Mama Kowalski insisted Tina lie down for a nap in the guest room. “Sleep will do you good.” She enfolded Tina into a tight hug that smelled of spices and fresh bread. “I’ll send Newt up when he gets here.” 

“Thank you.” Tina extracted herself gently and climbed the stairs to the second floor, overcome with tiredness. She kicked off her sandals and laid down on the guest room bed, pulling the quilt over her. 

Consciousness returned slowly and Tina fought to return to the blessed forgetfulness of sleep. She moaned and buried her face in the pillow. 

“Tina?” A warm hand rubbed her back where the quilt had slipped off. When she didn’t respond, the hand slid to the hem of her shirt and beneath to begin toying with her bra clasp.

“Don’t let Mama Kowalski catch you doing that,” Tina mumbled. “She’ll throw you out on your ass.” 

Newt’s hand moved to pull her against his side. “I’ll just tell her we’ve done more than that already.” 

_ Guess it’s now or never. I’m not going to get a better opening than that.  _ “Yeah, about that.” She captured his wanding hand in her own and found herself clinging to it. 

“What’s wrong? Queenie said she took you to the clinic. Did you find out why you’ve been feeling bad? A little late for the flu, isn’t it?”

Tina took a deep breath. “It’s not the flu. I’m pregnant.” She felt him stiffen behind her as the words hit home. 

“How?” he whispered and Tina winced at the raw pain in his voice. “We were careful every time.” 

“It wasn’t us.” She rolled over so she could see his face. Despite the beginnings of a summer tan, he was pale and his freckles stood out like drops of ink. “My birth control pills were packaged wrong. Queenie saw a news story about it and brought me a pregnancy test. Then she dragged me to the clinic to double-check.” 

“So what do we do now?” Tina’s heart broke at how lost Newt sounded. “A baby, I never thought….” 

“I don’t know.” She hid her face in his shoulder breathing in the scent of hay and leather as she felt the tears return. “I really don’t.” 

Newt wrapped his arms around her. She felt his breathing hitch and realized he was crying too. 

A knock on the door made them pull apart, wiping at their faces and not looking at each other. Queenie’s voice came through the wood. “Mama Kowalski says come have dinner and then we’ll talk.” 

Tina struggled to sit up, exhaustion dragging at every limb. “I guess we’d better go down. Don’t want her coming up here and seeing us being all inappropriate.” 

As a joke, it fell flat, but Newt managed to smile anyway beneath red-rimmed eyes. “No, we can’t have that.” But neither of them moved. 

“I wish — we need to talk, first,” Tina said thinking of the family conclave to come. “Just us.” 

Newt came around the bed and pulled her gently to her feet. “I’ll support whatever you want to do.” 

She could only nod and let him lead her downstairs. 

*****

Once the supper dishes had been cleared away — Tina had done little more than pick at her food — Mrs. Kowalski handed around more mugs of hot chocolate. 

“So, I guess we need to think about options,” Tina mumbled into her drink. She knew she hadn’t done anything wrong, but she couldn’t help feeling ashamed. 

“And what are those exactly?” Newt turned his cup around between his palms, not drinking. “I’m assuming we have more than one?” 

Queenie glanced at Jacob, and he gave a small nod. “Well, you could keep it and raise it yourselves. Jacob and I would be thrilled to babysit. Or…Jake and I talked about it and we’re willing to adopt it — the baby.” She reached over and took her husband’s hand. “You know we’ve been trying for our own and it just hasn’t happened yet.” 

“Yeah, we’d be happy to do it,” Jacob said. “And you two could be as involved as you want.” 

_ This is all moving too fast. I don’t know what to do but I don’t have much time to decide _ . “Or there’s the easiest option,” Tina ventured, unsure of the reaction her next words would receive. “I could go to a clinic and….take care of it.” 

Mr. Kowalski looked confused. “But why would you do that?” 

Tina’s opened her mouth and closed it again as the words dammed up behind her teeth.  _ Because everything in my life was finally going great. Because I’m still in college. Because I want to have fun and not worry about being a parent so soon. Because I have plans! Because I have a life! _

“Newt? What do you want to do, pal?” Jacob asked before Tina could even begin to put her thoughts into words. At her side, Newt kept his head down, every line of his body tense with strain. He clutched his mug like a lifeline.

“I think we could raise it.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “If we had help, I mean. I — school’s never been a priority for me like it is for Tina.” He glanced at her, just a flash of green and down again. “I don’t mind taking the extra time if I need to.” 

Tina felt a flash of irritation. “And where will the money to raise it come from?” she snapped and instantly regretted it when Newt flinched. 

“It can be done,” Mama Kowalski said, and her gentle voice calmed Tina slightly. “When Jacob came along, we were living with my parents and both of us working to save for a house. My mother babysat. We used cloth diapers and found toys and clothing at Goodwill. I think,” she added pointedly, “you’ll agree that he was unharmed by the experience?” 

“I think he’s perfect,” Queenie said predictably, and Jacob blushed. 

“Thanks, doll.” 

_ Tina wanted to scream. This is happening too fast. I need more time, but I don’t have it.  _ She knew that the longer she waited the more her options would narrow. 

She looked around at them all — her family. Queenie’s face was full of careful hope while Jacob just looked anxious. She knew they’d be fantastic parents.  _ Should I let them adopt it? But then I’d have to carry it for nine months and give birth too. How could I give it up after that? And I’d still feel responsible. I’d still be its biological mother.  _

Newt had his jaw clenched as he avoided her eyes. She knew there was more he wanted to say, but he was holding back to let her decide like he’d promised.  _ What if we raised it? But how? We’re both in college and not married.  _

Mr. Kowalski reached out and patted her hand with his big knuckled fingers, saying nothing. Beside him, Mrs. Kowalski gave her the same gentle smile Tina remembered from her childhood. Growing up, she’d felt as at home with them as she had with her own parents. Daddy Kowalksi had taught her to bait a hook and taken her fishing with Karl and Jacob when she’d asked. Mama Kowalski had shown her how to make bread and hadn’t laughed or scolded when it came out wrong. But even parents couldn’t do this for her now. 

_ And there goes any hope of law school. What sort of mother could I be with that kind of course load on top of everything else? It wouldn’t be fair to the child or to Newt. If it was just the two of us, we could make it work, but with a kid? _

“Teenie? You’re not talking.” Queenie had a white-knuckled grip on Jacob’s hand. “What’d you want to do?” 

Tina sucked in a deep breath.  _ They’re all going to hate me. _ “I can’t keep it. It’s just….not possible.” 

Queenie stared at her. “What?” she croaked. “But we said we’d take it. You won’t have to do anything.”

“Except carry it for nine months and give birth to it.” Tina felt a headache starting up to combine with the queasy sensation in her stomach. “I’m sorry, but I can’t.” 

Tears spilled down Queenie’s cheeks, and she ran from the room before Tina could say anything else. Shaking his head sadly, Jacob went after her. 

“Newt?”  _ Surely he understands why I’m doing it. _

He looked up at her, and Tina was surprised to see that he too was crying. “You know, the day we met you told me about your dad and why he kept trying cases even though he lost most of them.”

“Yeah, I remember.” 

“You may have chosen the easy way, but I don’t think it’s the right way. Not when we have other options.” He pushed away from the table and left the room. After a minute, they heard the back door slam. 

Tina looked into her empty mug and struggled not to cry.

Papa Kowalski’s warm, big hand patted her back. “Give him ten minutes to calm down and then go after him. He’s a good man, and he loves you.” 

“I know,” Tina choked. 

Newt sat in the swing with his hands clasped between his knees and his head lowered. He didn’t look around when she joined him. 

“I’m sorry.” 

He shook his head. “It’s not your fault. You,” his voice caught in his throat. “You have to do what you think is best. I know that.” 

She touched his arm, unsure if he would pull away. “It still hurts you, and Queenie and Jacob, too.” 

“We’ll get over it. You’re the one it’s happening to, so it should be your decision.” But Tina thought he sounded as though he were trying to convince himself. 

"I should go talk to Queenie and Jacob - see if I can explain." 

"Not right now. Wait until after," Newt said in a choked voice. "We're all emotional right now." 

"Do you hate me?" Tina whispered, 

He looked at her then, shocked. "Tina, no! Don't think that, love." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, and Tina leaned against him gratefully. "I'm sorry you feel you need to do this, but I don't hate you." 

_ This. We can't even say the word. _ "Will you go with me?"

Newt's arm tightened painfully for an instant before it relaxed. "I'll drive you to the clinic. But don't ask me to go inside. I can't do that." 

"Okay."  _ If this is the right thing to do, why do I feel so horrible? _

“Stay with me tonight? I know you have an exam —”

“Not until Thursday, so it’s fine.” 

She woke in the middle of the night to find Newt spooned behind her, his hand lightly stroking her abdomen. 

"Newt." The movement stopped, but his hand stayed where it was, spread protectively across her. "Don't. Don't get attached. It just makes it harder." 

His hand slid away and she felt him turn over. "It doesn't have to be hard at all," he whispered, so softly she barely heard him. 

She rolled over so their positions were reversed. Gently, she reached out and ran a finger over a wide, jagged scar on the back of his shoulder. Beneath her touch, his skin rippled into goosebumps. "Do you really believe that? Are you really prepared to be a dad right now?" 

He craned his head around, and she thought she saw the glint of tears in his eyes, but she couldn't be sure. "I don't know," he said, sounding choked. "Is anyone ever ready to be a parent even if the child was planned? I could learn. You could learn."

“Newt…”

“I’m sorry. I said I’d be supportive and here I am making you feel guilty. I won’t say anything else.” His breathing slowed and he appeared to go to sleep.

In her turn, Tina lay awake the rest of the night.  _ Am I doing the right thing or not? _


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's the - for now - final chapter! It's possible I may add to this story eventually, but for now, it's done. Thank you to everyone who's left comments and kudos. It's very much appreciated.

After a nearly silent breakfast, during which they both picked at their eggs and toast, Tina took her phone into the bathroom and shut the door. She resolutely ignored the pained expression on Newt’s face as he loaded dishes into the washer. 

“Yes, I need an appointment to see about getting an abortion.” The word felt strange in her mouth as she said it out loud for the first time. She answered the receptionist’s questions in as confident a tone as she could muster. 

“We had a cancellation for 10,” the woman said over the sounds of typing. “Can you make that? You’ll need to be here for a few hours and have someone available to drive you home if you have a procedure.” 

Tina took a steadying breath. “Yes, that sounds fine.” 

When she left the bathroom, Newt was standing at the window with Pickett in his arms. Dougal and Frank sat protectively on either side of him, watching their master with anxious expressions. 

“They had an appointment for 10.” She went to stand beside him, bending down to scratch behind Dougal’s ears. The Scottie whined, obviously picking up on the tension in the room. 

“Okay.” Newt didn’t look at her. “That gives us an hour. We really should run to the store — I wasn’t expecting company until next week.” 

Company. It sounded distant and impersonal. _ Is that all I am now? Someone who’s just visiting? Is that what he thinks of me? _ “That’s a good idea. Once school’s out I thought I could work at the bakery in the mornings when they’re busy and find something else for the afternoon. That way I’ll be bringing in more money.” She faltered. “If ...you still want me to stay with you over the summer, I mean.” 

His head jerked toward her, hazel eyes wide with shock. “Of course! That won’t change, Tina, no matter what ...happens today.” He set Pickett on the wide windowsill and turned to face her fully. “I said I’d support your decision and I am. That it’s difficult for me shouldn’t be an issue.” 

“I’m sorry it hurts you. You and Queenie and Jacob…” She fought back the tears that had been almost constant since the morning before. “I have to do it, Newt.” She wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m scared — terrified, really.” 

Newt’s expression softened and he led her over to the couch, settling close beside her. “Tell me. We haven’t really talked, have we?” 

She gave a shaky laugh. “Neither of us is very good at that.” 

“No, but we have an hour so at least you can give me the Spark Notes version.”

It was a weak joke, but it made Tina feel better anyway. “I just….I keep going over everything in my mind. I was thinking all this yesterday and I guess I should’ve said it. But, it felt like things were finally going my way, you know? After everything with mom and dad and getting Queenie settled. I’m going to college on a scholarship; I’ve got a decent job, and I’m dating a great guy.” She kissed Newt’s cheek and he went faintly pink. “But at the same time, I don’t know how I can bring a baby into that. Would I still be able to go to law school? And what about your plans to be a vet? It’s a lot of school for both of us, and we’re already older than the usual college kid.” 

“That’s true, but people do it all the time. I read about a married couple who had five children while they were both finishing their schooling.” 

Tina bit her lip. “I know, but I don’t think I can handle it, Newt. Not right now, anyway. And as for Queenie and Jacob adopting … I’d still feel responsible for the child — even if we had a completely open relationship. I’d still want a say in how they raised it and wouldn’t be fair to them or the child.” 

Newt nodded slowly. “That makes sense. And if it — the child — was close by you might always wonder ‘what if?’”

“Exactly! It’s so early now that I might be able to get the pill. That’s just like having a really heavy period. One of the girls in my dorm used it. Then we can go on the way we have been and enjoy our summer.” 

“Alright. Thank you for explaining your reasons, Tina. It does help.” He put an arm around her and she leaned against him, relieved to finally have everything out in the open at last.

After a few minutes, she said. “I thought we were going to the store.”

He didn’t move. “I’ll go later. Let’s just stay like this for a while, please.” 

She snuggled closer. “Sure.” 

When they pulled up to the clinic, Tina turned to Newt as she reached for the door handle. “I might be a while.” 

He held up his iPad. “That’s fine. I have some reading to do. The barn is thinking about starting a therapeutic riding program, and Andrea gave me some material about it.” 

“Okay.” 

“Tina? I love you.” 

She stopped the door from closing and turned back. “I love you too. Thanks for being here, Newt.” 

Inside, the nondescript building looked like any other doctor’s office Tina had ever seen. She checked in after an older woman and took one of the only available chairs near the reception desk. A side table held back issues of women’s magazines. Tina took out her phone instead wishing she could text Queenie, but she hadn’t heard from her sister since she’d left in tears the night before. 

She pulled up Facebook and browsed while surreptitiously watching the other women in the waiting room.  _ Looks like I’m probably going to be here for a while. Just my luck that they’d double-book. Maybe I should tell Newt to go ahead to the grocery store.  _

The door opened and a blonde woman with a baby carrier came in. At the desk, she set the carrier on the floor beside Tina’s chair while she talked with the receptionist about rescheduling a wellness checkup. A whimper from the carrier made Tina glance down. The baby looked to be about six months old.  _ Aww ...she's really cute. Looks like Queenie did at that age. She and Jacob will make cute kids one of these days.  _

Tina realized she had pressed a hand to her stomach automatically. Startled she put it back in her lap and glanced around, but no one was paying any attention. 

“I hope she wasn’t bothering you.” 

The baby’s mother had turned from the desk and was giving Tina a tired smile. She looked to be about Queenie’s age.

“Oh, no! She’s adorable.” 

The other woman sighed and Tina saw the dark circles under her eyes. “Thanks. I just found out I’m pregnant again. I wasn’t going to keep it, but then I thought, ‘What’s one more?’ At least they’ll have someone close in age to play with, you know?”

_ Like me and Queenie.  _ “How do you manage?” Tina reached out a finger and the baby wrapped a hand around it with surprising strength. 

“I got lucky, I guess. My mom babysits while my husband and I are at work, and I’m taking a few online classes at night. It’s hard, but you get into a routine after a while.” She leaned down and picked up the carrier. “And for us, it’s worth it.” 

Tina freed her finger and reluctantly sat back. “Well, I hope it works out for you.” 

“Thanks, you too.” 

When the pair had gone, Tina stared down at her phone without seeing it.  _ What if we kept it? What if I kept it? Newt and I aren’t married, and we haven’t known each other that long really. If we don’t work out, I’ll be the one stuck raising it. Queenie and Jacob would help and his parents. But what about my plans _ ? 

Overcome with frustration she hadn’t expected to feel, Tina reached for a magazine and paged through it. She ignored the “Keep Your Summer Body All Year” articles and the “Look Ten Years Younger” articles. “Yeah, I really want to look like I should be in elementary school,” she muttered. 

An advice column caught her eye. Dear Janice, My boyfriend and I aren’t married and I just found out I’m pregnant. He wants me to have an abortion, but I really want to keep the baby. How can I convince him to change his mind?

“Tina Goldstein!”

Startled, Tina dropped the magazine. She felt her face growing hot as she scrambled to gather up it and her purse at the same time. She followed the nurse down a short hallway and into an exam room that was nearly identical to the one at the college clinic, right down to the wallpaper. 

She answered the routine questions as best she could and offered the birth control pills with a hand that shook only a little. The nurse had a stoic, business-like air that was probably supposed to be reassuring, but which made Tina feel more alone than ever.  _ I wish Queenie was here. Or Newt. I should’ve insisted he come with me. No, it would be too hard for either of them. But what about my feelings?  _

“Alright, Miss Goldstein. Put this gown on, and I’ll be back in just a few minutes.” 

The click of the door closing was loud in the quiet room. Tina laid the flimsy paper gown aside and slowly began to undress. She dragged the shirt over her head and folded it neatly beside her purse. When she reached for the clasp of her bra, she was overcome by the memory of Newt’s scarred fingers in place of her own just a couple of weeks before. 

“We’re supposed to be studying,” she’d gasped as his mouth found the sensitive spot where her neck met her shoulder. Between his hands and his mouth, she couldn’t think straight.

“We are…I’m studying you.” He switched to the other side, and the clasp came free. “I think it may take years there’s so much to discover….” 

_ Stop it, Tina,  _ she scolded herself.  _ That’s exactly what got you into this predicament.  _ Shivering in the chilly room, she pulled the gown on and slid out of her capris and underwear (They were pink lace. Tina wasn’t one for pink or lace, normally, but Newt had expressed a fondness for seeing her in both, so she was trying). 

Feeling uncomfortably exposed, Tina slid her phone from her purse and hopped back onto the exam bed.  _ You’re doing the right thing _ , she reminded herself for the hundredth time. She debated texting Newt but discarded the idea at once. Instead, she opened the photo app and thumbed through the collection tagged with his name. There were a surprising number of them. 

She’d taken the most recent just two days ago at Falconrest. When she’d arrived, Newt had been teaching a lesson with the youngest children — all under six. Each child was accompanied by a parent or other adult. Newt held the lead rope of the youngest child, a giggly, just-turned-four-year-old named Kaitlyn. Kaitlyn loved her pony, Elmo, and she loved Newt. Tina had a sneaking suspicion she loved Newt even more than Elmo. In the photo, Kaitlyn was leaning almost completely out of the saddle so she could fling both arms around Newt’s neck. Both of them were laughing. 

Tina’s smile faded as a conversation she’d had with Queenie came back to her. They’d talked about having children someday.  _ Surprise! Someday is now! _ Again, she saw the child her mind had conjured up, but all she could remember were the freckles on the small hands. Her imagination hadn’t shown her a face. 

_ But I could see it if I wanted to. _

With a start, Tina found herself back on her feet and yanking the gown over her head with feverish haste. She threw on her clothes without caring about how she looked. A peek outside showed an empty hallway. The receptionist at the front desk looked up in surprise when she appeared around the corner. 

“I...I’m sorry. I can’t do this.” Not waiting for a reply, she pushed open the door to the waiting room and hurried across it with one goal in mind. By the time she reached Newt’s car, she was running. 

“Tina?” Newt barely had time to open the driver’s side door and stand up before she crashed into him. 

“I can’t do it! I thought I wanted to, but I couldn’t do it!” She clutched at him, fighting the suffocating drag of panic. “I’m sorry, Newt. I’m sorry!” 

He wrapped both arms around her, holding her just as tightly. “Are you sure, Tina — absolutely sure? I can’t go through this again.” She could hear the tears trembling on the edge of his voice. 

“I’m positive.” She buried her face in his chest and let the beat of his heart calm her. “If you think we can do this parents thing, then I’m willing to try.” 

Newt gave a watery chuckle and pulled back just enough to look down at her. “The keyword there is try. We might be horrible at it.” 

“We might, but at least we’ll have each other.” 

“And Queenie and Jacob and his parents. And mine once they know,” Newt continued. “Oh bugger! Theseus will be the most annoying uncle ever.” 

Tina stretched up and kissed him. “Jacob will spoil the kid rotten. They can have a contest.” 

“I think we should go tell them. If that’s okay, I mean?”

“Yes, I feel horrible for putting you all through this.” 

Newt walked her around to the passenger side — he’d finally fixed the lock at her insistence — and opened the door. “Don’t. You were doing what you thought was best at the time.” 

They drove across town holding hands across the console.

At this hour, Kowalski’s bakery and coffee shop was nearly deserted. The morning rush had ended and the lunch one not yet started.

The bell over the door jangled to announce their arrival, and Jacob poked his head out from the kitchen. When he saw them, his welcoming expression turned stony. Tina winced inwardly.  _ I’ve got a lot of making up to do with everyone, I think. _ She took a deep breath of the coffee-scented air

Jacob slowly took off his apron and stepped behind the counter. "Cecily, why don't you go ahead and take your break before it gets busy again?" 

Cecily looked at Tina and Newt, obviously curious, but nodded. She'd been in Queenie's class, and Tina wondered if Queenie had talked to her about all this.

Jacob waited until Cecily was out of earshot before he turned back to them. His normally rosy face looked pale and drawn. "Queen's upstairs. She...had a bad night, to put it mildly. And I didn't do too well myself. If you're just gonna upset her again —."

"No, Jacob. I'm so sorry about all that. Can we go up and see her, please?" 

His stern expression softened. "'Course you can. You're family after all."

"Can you come with us?" Newt asked as they stepped behind the counter to join him. "We'd like to talk to both of you."

Jacob's brows drew together in puzzlement. "Sure, I guess I can take a few minutes. I'll just get Dan to watch the front. You guys go on up." 

As she climbed the stairs, Tina's stomach clenched, but this time from nerves instead of morning sickness. "We've never fought before," she'd told Newt in the car. "Not really — just about stuff like her snooping in my diary." 

He'd laughed and shaken his head. "Theseus and I fought on a regular basis — actual fistfights more than once. If we lived closer, we still might get into it. Just because you fight or argue doesn't mean you don't love each other, Tina." 

"I know…”

And she did, but she still held her breath while she waited for Queenie to answer her gentle knock on the apartment door. Maybe she was sleeping. Maybe Jacob had texted to say Tina was there, and Queenie didn’t want to see her.

The sound of the deadbolt made her jump, and Newt put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. The door eased open a few inches to reveal Queenie’s face framed by a tumble of unkempt blond curls. 

“Tina?” She sounded groggy, the way she used to on school mornings when Tina resorted to physically dragging her out of bed. She still wore her nightgown and robe even though it was nearly noon. 

Tina noted her the dark circles under her sister’s red-rimmed eyes and felt another pang.  _ She’ll be happy as soon as we tell her, _ she reminded herself. “Hey, can we come in?” 

Queenie glanced from her to Newt and then to Jacob, standing behind them. He must’ve nodded because she opened the door without a word. 

The apartment wasn’t the tidy, cheerful place Tina was used to. A plate of half-eaten toast sat on the coffee table among a riot of used tissues. A basket of unfolded laundry spilled its contents onto the floor. 

“So,” Queenie picked up a piece of toast and nibbled it disinterestedly while not looking at them. “Did you do it?” 

Tina took a step toward her. “No. I couldn’t.” 

Queenie’s hand stopped with the toast halfway to her mouth. Jacob’s indrawn breath was loud in the quiet room. 

“I tried to.” Tina took another step as if Queenie was a skittish horse at the barn that might spook if she moved the wrong way. “I got as far as the exam room and I...I just couldn’t do it.” Another step. “So I guess what I’m trying to say is, do you still want to babysit?” 

The toast fell to the carpet in a spatter of crumbs as Queenie flung herself into Tina’s arms. “I’m gonna be an aunt? Really?”

Tina hugged her as hard as she could. They were both crying and laughing at the same time. “Yeah.  And I guess I’m gonna be a mom after all.” 

Dimly she heard Jacob say to Newt, “Come on, pal. Let's give them some privacy.” 

“You’ll do great, Teenie.” Queenie pulled back and wiped at her eyes. “Look at us! Well, at least they’re happy tears.” She dragged Tina over to the couch and sat close beside her. “So, what made you change your mind?” 

Tina grabbed a clean tissue from the box and mopped at her face. “It was a lot of things...But I guess the biggest…” She blushed, unsure of how to approach the topic. 

“What?” Queenie grinned and nudged her. “Fess up!” 

“Well....” Haltingly, Tina explained about her daydream of a child with Newt’s freckles. “I don’t think it was a vision, but —.” 

“It sounds like a vision to me! And here I thought I was the only clairvoyant in this family.” She beamed with sisterly pride. 

“Oh, stop it!” Tina gave Queenie a playful shove in her turn before growing serious again. “Whatever it was, I realized in the exam room that I really wanted to see their face.” She sniffed and reached for another tissue.

Queenie drew her into a hug, tissues and all. “Aww...I think that’s a really beautiful reason, Teenie.”

“I’m sorry. I know you and Jacob have been trying for months now. It feels so unfair.” 

“No, I’m the one who should be sorry.” Queenie sat back and regarded her solemnly. “I got mad at you for something you had no control over. You’ve got enough to worry about and I just added to it.”

Tina laughed a little shakily. “Newt says ‘worrying means you suffer twice,’ but I think he’s full of crap.” 

“Well, try not to,” Queenie said. “We’ll help as much as we can and so will Mama and Daddy Kowalski.” She clapped her hands in glee. “Oh, they’re going to be so thrilled when you tell them! Let’s go over there right now!” She jumped up and tried to pull Tina toward the door.

“Queenie! You’ve still got your pajamas on, you goose!” It felt good to laugh again.  _ It’s going to be crazy and it’ll turn our lives upside down, but I think it will be worth it.  _

Much later, after a celebratory meal with the Kowalskis, Newt and Tina drove back to his apartment — their apartment now at least for the summer —  in the late afternoon sunshine. 

“Newt? Will your parents be okay with all this?” Tina ventured. From what he’d said, she knew his parents were very focused on their work as marine biologists and had allowed Newt and Theseus plenty of freedom growing up. 

He grinned over at her. “Okay? It’s their first grandchild — they’ll be over the moon! I’ll give them a call tonight.” He reached for her hand and brought it to his lips. “And they’ll love you, so don’t worry about that.” 

“You’re such a sap,” she teased when he kept hold of her. “Daddy….” 

They pulled into Newt’s parking space and he switched off the engine. “What time is your exam tomorrow?”

Tina climbed out and reached in the back for the leftovers Mama Kowalski had given them. “Nine and then I need to finish packing up my part of the room. After that….” She trailed off as she mentally ticked off everything she needed to do: find an ob-gyn, make appointments - probably multiple ones….

“Hey.” Newt turned her to face him. “Your eyes glazed over, there. What did I tell you about worrying?”

She started to speak and he pressed a finger lightly against her lips. “We’re going to have a fantastic summer. We’re going to get you and the baby checked out, and then we’re going to watch my idiot brother marry the love of his life.” 

“Oh is that all?” Tina couldn’t help laughing as Newt replaced the finger with his lips for a sweet kiss. 


End file.
